Financial codependence overcharges someone’s power plug
while hoping we never get electrocuted in the process.
Let me ask you … If financial codependence is terrible, why do so many of us choose it as a “viable” option?
The answer is, because we think that financial codependence will give us financial security. But nothing is further from the truth. And here is why:
Financial codependence happens when we plug all our Christmas lights (internal well-being) on someone else’s power plug: we trade our personal power for (perceived) financial security.
Allow me to explain:
After their divorce is finalized, many codependent women talk about the financial hole (debt) incurred after splitting the house, the bank accounts, the lawyer’s fees, etc. Anxious and worried, they share how unsafe they feel reintegrating the work force in their forties and fifties in order to sustain themselves financially. I get it. I used to be one of them.
Of course … I could have chosen (like many) to remain in an unhealthy marriage and continue giving out the illusion that I had my personal finances together. Back then, when someone made a comment about how financially wealthy I was, I quickly spoke about how blessed I was to be married to someone who made a truckload of money. But after my divorce, I blamed my ex-husband for my Christmas lights being out. Sound familiar?
Staying in an unhealthy marriage because we want financial security is never a viable solution.
Leaving an unhealthy marriage without knowing how to safely unplug our financial codependence is a recipe for ongoing misery.
With that in mind, how do safely unplug financial codependence?
Things become better when we focus on
becoming aware: “What makes me believe it’s “okay” to be financially dependent?”
setting our intention: “What am I willing to do right now to become financially independent?”
becoming accountable: “How can I keep striving for financial independence?”
To become financially independent, I’ve had to let go of many false beliefs attached to marriage, relationship, loyalty, family, etc. Remember … A failed marriage is never an excuse for failing to thrive financially. Therefore,
Here are four applications to assist you to safely unplug financial codependence in your relationships:
Take a money course. Educate yourself in matters related to money and personal finances. Learn how to make a budget, a debt repayment plan, and a retirement plan that will give you the financial security you are craving.
Hire an Emotional Intelligence Coach. Disempowering beliefs often coat financial codependence with the illusion that it’s ‘okay’ for someone else to carry us financially for long periods of time. An EQ coach will help you adopt more empowering beliefs around money and personal finances.
Reintegrate the workforce now. No matter how old you are, you add value just by being here, and you offer an expertise unique to you. I believe in you!
Learn how to present yourself. Take advantage of the many resources offered to women reintegrating the workforce. For example, you can get help on how to buff up your resume, dress appropriately for an interview, answer for gaps in your work experience, etc.
We can safely unplug financial codependence the moment we decide to (re)claim our personal plug (power). Let me help you. I’ve been there and I know the way to financial freedom. My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an emotional intelligence coach who writes for Forbes about money and personal finances. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us
Your EQ coach,