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Emotional Intelligence Self-Worth

ELVEN TIPS ON HOW TO RECLAIM OUR WORTHINESS AFTER PARENTAL ABUSE

“Telling a child to keep their sense of worthiness intact while they are being abused is like asking an adult not to scratch their car while having an accident.”

~ Anne Beaulieu

 

When it comes to upholding a child’s sense of worthiness, the USA 2015 National Child Abuse Statistics has this to say:

  • 4 million child maltreatment referral reports received.

  • Child abuse reports involved 7.2 million children.

  • 75.3% of victims are neglected.

  • 17.2% of victims are physically abused.

  • Almost five children die every day from child abuse.

  • 80% of child fatalities involve at least one parent.

  • 72.9% of the child abuse victims die from neglect.

  • 43.9% of the child abuse victims die from physical abuse.

  • More than 90% of abused victims know the perpetrator of their abuse.

If you are part of those statistics,

Here are eleven (11) valuable tips on how to reclaim your sense of worthiness after parental abuse:

  • Stop expecting your parent(s) to apologize. When we know different, we do different. Until then, expecting a parent to say sorry for the black eye or the nasty remark you got is a waste of your time, energy, and efforts. Instead, focus on genuinely finding ways to reclaim your sense of worthiness outside of any parental negative influence. See other tips below.

 

  • Seek an emotionally intelligent adult and spend as much time with them as possible. We learn by example. Seeking examples of kindness and compassion might help you restore some positive emotional balance and trust in your life. That person might be a caring mentor, coach, neighbour, co-worker, friend, etc.

 

  • Keep a journal of your positive attributes. When someone says something kind about you, write it down. Read your list often, as many times a day as you can. Learn to feel good about yourself beyond the potential negative impact of others.

 

  • “I choose me.”  No one can ever take away your personal power unless you give it away first. Your personal power is your personal power. Claim it. Own it. Keep it. Expand it. Take charge of your life. Your life belongs to you, no matter what anyone else may want to tell you. Claim your personal power to the fullest.

 

  • Never apologize for parental abuse or take responsibility for your parents’ actions. You are only responsible for yourself. Focus on fully owning your personal mistakes and fully owning your innate glory.

 

  • Participate in uplifting activities. The more quality time you spend in an empowering group setting, the better. Expand your horizons. Enrol in activities that challenge you to become a greater version of yourself. Take a cooking lesson, earn how to ski, join a book club, etc.

 

  • Explore positive mindsets and core values. Examine every belief you hold. Seek to know where your beliefs come from. Ask yourself, “Who’s taught me those beliefs?” and choose to believe something more greatly aligned with your soul.

 

  • Never isolate yourself physically or emotionally. Make a constant effort to emotionally connect with yourself and others. Sit at a coffee and talk to other customers. Greet people on your walks. Pet dogs, smile at children, etc.

 

  • Never close up emotionally. Become genuinely curious. Emotionally connect to your feelings. Feeling is living. Embrace what you feel without rejection or judgment. It’s okay to feel angry or happy or sad or joyous … All feelings matter. You matter. 

 

  • Ask for help. Hire someone who has experienced what you’ve been through because it makes it easier to talk about the hard stuff without feeling guilty or ashamed. Plus, these people know what works and what doesn’t work.

Help is always available. Reach out. ASK. No one does it alone.

In case you wonder, I’ve been that child and I know what it has taken me to overcome the dark shame and guilt I used to feel about being part of those statistics. I can help you. Contact me at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us

Your EQ coach,
Anne

P.S. Police intervention is always an option. Never wait until you are unable to dial 911. Why? Because society will never thank you for protecting an abuser. 

P.P.S. For more grounding resources, also visit https://fullmontyleadership.com
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