Emotional Intelligence


“Bie xiao qi!” (别小气!)” 

He laughs and fills the container to the brim.

Recently, I was invited to a friend’s dinner at their house. As suspected, she and her life partner cooked a lot of food: shrimps, steaks, BBQ chicken, goulash, naan bread, noodles, veggies, etc. There was more food than any of us present could eat in one sitting.

Because my friend does not like to eat leftovers, she asks her life partner to prepare me a plastic container full of my favourite foods that night to take home with me.

Her life partner agrees and starts filling up the container. As she watches him, she playfully says, “Bie xiao qi!” (别小气)! He laughs and fills the container to the brim.

Now, you might be wondering,

What does “Bie xiao qi!” (别小气!)” mean?


别 means: DO NOT

小 means: small

气! means: air

In other words, “Bie xiao qi!” means

“Breathe deeply!”



When it comes to feeling generous, why does the Chinese language ask us to breathe deeply?

The air we breathe in is often referred to as qi or prana; it is our vital essence, what helps us feel good, grounded, emotionally present at one with all that is.

When we breathe deeply, we relax, we allow ourselves to be ourselves, and in that moment, it becomes easy to access our generosity. Feeling generous is who we really are.

Let me ask you …

Why do we breathe shallow?

Why do we pursue lack of generosity?

I believe the answer is, because we are afraid others will take advantage of us if we allow ourselves to breathe deeply and feel generous.

If that is true, how does breathing shallow (lacking generosity) ever going to make us feel generous?

Clearly, breathing small air does NOT work.

With this in mind …


How do things become better?

I believe things become better when we focus on

  • becoming aware: ‘What do I need right now?’

  • setting our intention: ‘What can I do provide what is needed?’

  • becoming accountable: ‘How can I hold myself accountable to keep providing what is needed?’

When I breathe shallow, I lack generosity: My muscles start tensing and I start looking at others (including myself) with suspicion. In that place of lack, I pass judgment and refuse to share. However … When I breathe deeply, I feel generous: I am relaxed, laughing, and I want to help. In this feeling of expansiveness, I am alert to what is needed and I provide it with a feeling of easiness.

Therefore …


Here are five (5) action steps you can take to breathe deeply and feel generous:


  • Ground your feet. Make sure both your feet are firmly placed on the ground. Feel the ground underneath you; it is a feeling of safety.


  • Straighten up your posture. Qi or prana is often perceived as a vertical column of air traveling along our spine. Standing straight with our shoulders pulled back helps us open up the rib cage and breathe deeper (taking more air in).


  • Place your tongue at the roof of your mouth. As strange as it might sound, doing that signals our brain that we are being serious about our breathing; we are committed to it.


  • Quiet your mind. Multitasking is an illusion (this is why swallowing food and air at the same time causes burping). When focusing on breathing deeply, avoid distractions such as social media, talking on the phone, etc. Think of breathing is something that requires your undivided attention.


  • Breathe in on a count of 4, hold for 4, and exhale for 4. Repeat. Breathing slowly helps us better control our breathing. It signals the brain that all is good and we can relax. When we hold for four, it quiets the mind. Exhaling gently shows us that we can express any situation with mindfulness.

Always remember … Breathe deeply! 

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence coach who assists her clients in breathing deeply so they can feel generous in giving and receiving all that life has to offer.

To book a chat with me to discuss how being generous can assist you feeling much better about yourself and others, here’s my scheduling link:
Your EQ coach,

Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash