Emotional Intelligence Sales


Thinking we know exactly what our customer needs does NOT work.

Here’s why.

Think of a time when someone you know had a birthday fast approaching, and they knew in their heart and mind what they wanted to receive as a gift. They had thought about it long and hard and knew in their heart that they wanted that gift more than anything else. Lo and behold, they were that clear.

One day, they walk up to their loved one and declared with great enthusiasm, “I know exactly what I want for my birthday!”

Looking up from the newspaper they were reading at the kitchen table, the other person casually replies, “Oh! You do? What is it?”

The soon-to-be birthday king/queen excitedly shares what they want as a gift, and then wait for reciprocity in kind to occur. Imagine their surprise when the other person puts down their newspaper and solemnly declares, “No, you don’t need that. Choose something else.” 

Let me ask you …

Have you ever been in a situation where someone assumed they knew exactly what you needed?


How did you feel in that moment?

I have been in that situation multiple times in the past, and it sucked.

With that in mind,

Thinking that we know exactly what our customer needs does NOT work.

According to Marketing Donut, a marketing think tank based in the United Kingdom,

“Anyone who believes they can go into a sales situation armed with ‘101 sure fire sales closes’ and make sales is seriously misinformed – and about 20 years behind the times. Professional sales people get to know their prospects; understand their issues; solve their prospect’s problems; and provide irrefutable proof. They build relationships and trust by engaging in ongoing dialogue.”


To discover what our customer needs, we need to build a moment of RAPPORT.

A moment of rapport happens when both parties drop down their guard and emotionally relate to what the other person is conveying.

An emotionally intelligent salesperson understands this. They get that … we bond over our needs. What this means is, we buy things for the feeling we want to experience with that thing.

If we can get our customer to share the feeling they want to experience from buying a product,

and we connect that feeling with our product, THAT’S A SALE!

To avoid making the common mistake of thinking you know exactly what your customer needs, here’s my tip for you:

  • Become genuinely curious. Never assume anything. The most powerful question I ask my clients as an Emotional Intelligence coach is, “What does that mean to you?” Every time a customer shares something with you, ask that question because it will lead you and your customer to discover what feeling they want to experience by buying a certain product. Then you job, as the great salesperson that you are, is to connect that feeling with your product. and the only way that’s going to happen is if you have the emotional Intelligence to get your customer to emotionally open up to you.

In light of this …

What do you believe is your greatest challenge?

I trust you have found value in this article. To learn how to better emotionally connect with your customers, contact me at
I am happy to assist you in any way that I can.
Your EQ Coach,

For those of you who would like to know more about Marketing Donut’s study, here is the link to their article:[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

Emotional Intelligence Sales


When Paul* (name changed) first came to see me, he walked into my office and chose a seat far away from me. He sat with his back up against the chair and with his hands firmly crossed in his lap.

“How are you?” I asked, and he nervously replied, “Good.”

I offered him a warm cup of tea. Paul glanced at his watch and declined that offer.

Wanting to build rapport, I openly shared with him how awkward I felt the first time I walked into the office of someone I didn’t know. Paul smiled and his eyes twinkled; he said he knew the feeling.


To get to the sale multiple times,

we must build rapport through reciprocal vulnerability

I started asking questions, such as: “Where are you from?” and “Where’s your family now?”

Upon hearing the word family, Paul clasped his hands tighter together. It seemed that family was a touchy subject for him.

“What’s one thing your family values?” I inquired.

With a tight smile, Paul replied that his family was very much about money.

“What does that mean to you?”

Looking sad, Paul told me that success was determined by how much money each family member had in their bank account.

I empathized. “It sucks. Growing up, I saw my parents constantly fight over money. If they had it, they fought about how to spend it. And if they didn’t have it, they fought about how to get more. Anyone with or without money was criticized. I was screwed from the start,” I added, laughing.

Paul chuckled and started relaxing; he unclasped his hands and leaned forward towards me. We had found one common ground.

I seized that opportunity to ask, “How can I assist you?”

After a long pause, Paul answered, “I’m not sure.”

“I can relate to that too. It can be a scary place. What is it that you’re not sure about right now?”

Paul cleared his throat.  He told me that he had been married for many years, and that he and his wife were trying to have a baby, but it wasn’t working, and the in-vitro trials were proving very hard emotionally on him and his wife.

Because every in-vitro attempt also cost thousands of dollars, Paul was feeling the financial pressure of starting a family and living up to the financial standards of his birth family. He felt screwed from the start. Another point I validated with him.

Feeling I understood him, Paul became my client. I closed that sale. I coached him for one year, practically every week.

To get to the sale multiple times, it requires a moment of rapport, a moment where both parties drop down their guard and share from a place of reciprocal vulnerability.

Here are four (4) rock solid tips to assist you getting to the sale multiple times:


  • Give your client your undivided attention. When building rapport, refrain from shuffling papers, picking up a call, or thinking about dinner. Stop focusing on the outside world and give your undivided attention to your client. When we feel genuinely seen and heard, we most likely want to share what makes us happy and might be troubling our heart.


  • Validate your client’s feelings. Recognize your client’s feelings without judgment, and then add one more sentence that validates specifically what they just said.


  • Take nothing personal. Remain genuinely open to discover your client, what they really want and what they really need. Ask emotionally intelligent questions.


  • Show compassion. Take the time to feel what it’s like to walk in their shoes. Feel their pain points and partake in their moments of joys. Seek to alleviate their pain by providing what they need over and over again.

Now imagine that somebody has just read these tips…

What do you believe will be their greatest challenge?

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who assists her clients in building genuine rapport with the people they are here to serve. Connect with me at

Your Emotional Intelligence Coach,
Another great resource is: 

Emotional Intelligence Sales


To discover what a customer needs, we must first let go of wanting to be right.

When Jack (name changed) first came to see me, I discovered that Jack was a district manager for a well-known franchise. As such, his duties were to ensure uniformity of products and services throughout his sales territory.

With this in mind, I asked Jack if he liked his work. Without missing a beat, he shared how he often got angry at the idiocy he perceived from several of the managers under him.

During our conversation, Jack said that if those managers did what they were told, all would be well in his world, and he would never have to get angry. Can you relate?

Definitely wanting to understand Jack better, I then asked questions about romantic relationships.

What I found out next was that he was still looking for “The One.” According to him, in all his break-ups, he believed he was right and they were wrong.

Can you imagine what it feels like to constantly think we are right?

Moving along, I then asked Jack how his constant desire to be right was serving him and his customer(s).

In that moment, he said that it kept landing him in trouble and that was why he was coming to see me.

As a matter of fact, many of his customers had filed complaints against him and upper management had warned him to deal with his issues.

Meanwhile, I asked Jack if he could let go if his constant desire to be right.

At first, he thought I was joking, but when he realized I was being serious, Jack claimed that he had over 20 years of experience in sales and that he knew better than anyone what his customer needed.

Needless to say, he also said the exact same thing about his romantic relationships.

Let me ask you…

Why do we want to be right at all costs?

I believe the answer is, because we think we know better.

If that is true, how was Jack’s wanting to be right ever going to help him build deep, meaningful relationships with his customers (and with a romantic partner too)?

Clearly, wanting to be right is bad news for everyone.


Here are four (4) rock solid tips to assist you in letting go of wanting to be right (and discovering at the same time what your customer needs):


  • Come from a place of genuine inquiry. Ask questions that make your customer feel seen and understood as a person. An example of such a question is, “What is the need you are looking to fulfill with what you want right now?” Listen attentively to the answer.


  • Validate what your customer is sharing with you. Create a safe place where they openly share their needs with you. If your customer is reluctant to talk, open up first, and share the need you fulfilled with what they are looking to experience for themselves with your products and services. If you haven’t experienced what you sell, you might want to change that right now.


  • Humbly keep asking questions. I believe the two costliest words in business are: I know. Instead of saying “I know,” preferably ask the customer ‘What does this mean to you?’ This kind of open question will keep your customer talking, thereby giving you a golden opportunity to discover what is they need and provide it.


  • Hire an EQ coach/mentor. Though many of us say we know what we want and what to do to get it, we become a lot more conscious of our words and actions when another person holds us accountable. No one does it alone.

Now, imagine somebody has just read these tips…

What do you believe will be their greatest challenge?

Before Jack came to see me, he thought his customer was always the problem, not him. But through working with me, Jack learned how to approach every relationship from a place of compassion. As a result, his work and romantic situations improved drastically.

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence coach who assists her clients in developing deep, meaningful relationships in business and at home. You can reach me at

Your Emotional Intelligence Coach,

P.S. To know more about sales and leadership, visit


Emotional Intelligence Sales


Selling aims to discover what a prospect needs

and provides it in exchange for money.

Let me share with you this personal story.

I am invited to attend a high profile gala in Hong Kong, and I start wondering, ‘What am I going to wear?

Feeling determined, I go shopping in Central (a downtown area) and walk inside a high-end store. Looking at all the pretty garments around me, I start feeling out of place. Maybe that’s because I am wearing a pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt?

A salesperson eyes me from head to toe. I can see her lips drawing tighter as she turns around and walks away from me. Maybe she thinks I am the ‘wrong’ kind of customer for that place?

I slowly drum up the courage to ask another salesperson for their help in choosing an evening gown. She has one look at me and flatly answers, “Good luck finding one your size.” 

With a smirk on her face, she then ‘apologizes,’ saying their store caters more to petite Asian women than white curvy Amazons.

I walk out of the store, feeling more dejected than ever. I wonder, ‘What am I going to wear?

Let me ask you …

When it comes to selling,

what makes a great prospect?


I believe a great prospect answers yes to all three questions:

#1. Does the prospect have a need to fulfill?

#2. Does the prospect have budget?

#3. Does the prospect intend to buy right now?

I needed an evening dress. I had the money to buy it and I wanted that gown immediately!

With that mind …

What is it that makes a salesperson fail at selling?

I believe the answer is, because we judge the prospect.

Think about it … How was the salesperson at that high-end store ever going to sell me an evening gown if she kept pinning me as a “non-buyer”?

Clearly, passing judgments does NOT work.

So how do things become better?

I believe, things become better when we focus on

  • becoming genuinely curious. ‘What is needed right now?’

  • becoming intentional. ‘What can I do right now to provide what is needed?’

  • becoming accountable. ‘How can I hold myself accountable to keep providing what is needed?



And here is what makes Amazon great at selling:


  • Ask “What do you need right now?”  and listen attentively to the answer. I might type in something like ‘dress’. How many thousands of dress choices am I going to see? Thousands! A salesperson who is great at selling will assist their customers in becoming more and more specific about what it is that they need.


  • Ask “What do you need right now?” and listen attentively to the answer. Now, I might type in something like ‘evening gown.’ This will most likely leave me with hundreds of choices instead of thousands. As a salesperson, always build on your customer’s previous answer. (Note: Amazon never cares if I am wearing blue jeans when buying an evening gown.)


  • Ask “What do you need right now?” and listen attentively to the answer. I will now need to choose a style and colour for my evening gown. As a salesperson, assist your customer in becoming more specific; always build on your customer’s previous answer. (Note: Amazon never cares whether I am a white curvy Amazon or a petite Asian woman.)


  • Ask “What do you need right now?” and listen attentively to the answer. I will now need to type in my size. (Note: Amazon never turns its head away, rolls its eyes, or make snide remarks about a person’s size. AMAZON ALWAYS LISTENS. As a salesperson, always listen to the customer’s answers and build clarity upon those answers.


  • Ask “What do you need right now?” and listen attentively to the answer. I will now need to proceed to checkout. (Note: Upon entering their website, Amazon never judges whether a person can afford an evening gown. If a sale goes through, great! If a sale doesn’t go through, Amazon asks  “What do you need right now?” and it always attentively listen to their customer’s answers.

In conclusion…

What makes Amazon GREAT at selling?




Now imagine a salesperson has just read these tips…

What do you believe will be their greatest challenge(s)?

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who assists salespeople in discovering what their customers need and provide it in exchange for money.
To schedule a free 15 minutes E.I. coaching session, here’s my scheduling link:
Your Emotional Intelligence Coach,

Another great resource you can check is: