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Emotional Intelligence Personal Finances Video

HOW TO EMOTIONALLY WELCOME MORE MONEY

We all want more money.

Keeping that in mind, have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I not experiencing the kind of money I know I deserve?”

For many of us, it can be emotionally troubling to notice other people who seem less smart than us to have more of the green stuff than we do. “What is it about someone that makes them a money magnet?”

I don’t know about you, but those were the kind of questions that went circling the drain in my head when I caught myself comparing my financial abundance to others.

It has taken me years of being mentored to finally start getting it at a much deeper level. As Dov Baron wonderfully explains it in his book, Don’t Read This Unless You Want More Money, “In life you don’t get what you deserve; you get what you think you deserve.”

Therefore, what is it about us that makes us think that we might not deserve superb financial abundance?

The answer is found in the Emotional Intelligence of money.

Allow me to explain.

The Emotional Intelligence of money is:

  • understanding what you feel about money and why you feel that way;

  • it’s sensing the difference between your wants and your needs, really understanding what money means to you emotionally;

  • a way to welcome more money and enjoy it.

We all like to think that we make financial decisions rationally. Wrong! It is our feelings that dictate the $$$ decisions we make (and the kind of financial abundance we get to experience).

To make this clearer for you, let’s do an exercise:

Do you rationally welcome $1,000,000 in your bank account right now? Yes? Awesome!

Now, let’s pretend that you’re walking in the middle of the desert and there’s no one else around. Suddenly, you find a suitcase that contains $1,000,000 in unmarked bills. What is the #1 feeling that came up? Be honest with yourself.

To rationally prove ourselves right, our #1 feeling then references our beliefs and memories (our why we feel that way). What is your belief/memory around that kind of $$$?

I did this exercise with a coaching client of mine. Smiling, they told me they rationally welcomed $1,000,000 or more! But when I asked them what was the #1 feeling that arose from finding that money in the desert, they answered, “Panic!”, and their referenced belief was, “Mafia.” For that client to know what it feels like to welcome $1,000,000 in their bank account, they must turn that feeling of  panic into a feeling of heartfelt gratitude, for example. Which means they must reference more empowering money beliefs in order to feelingly welcome more $$$ to them. 

“Why am I not experiencing the kind of money I know I deserve?”

You now know the answer to that question. What is the #1 feeling you mostly associate with $$$ and your bank account?

  • If you are experiencing a negative feeling with $$$, then you are signalling the universe NOT to send you more money because it is apparently stressing you out.

 

“What is it about someone that makes them a money magnet?” 

You now also know the answer to that question. Why do you feel that way about $$$?

  • If you got excited at finding $1,000,000 in the desert, then you just told the Universe to dump truckloads of money in your backyard!

The Emotional Intelligence of money permeates every area of our lives. If someone who seems less smart than us is experiencing more $$$ and financial wealth than us, then it’s very likely they welcome money with more open arms.

If you would like to book a call where we will chat about how I can assist you attract more financial wealth into your life, here’s the link; https://walkinginside.com/contact-us

Your financial EQ coach,
Anne

Photo by Alexander Mils on Unsplash

 

Categories
Emotional Intelligence Personal Finances

HOW TO SAFELY UNPLUG FINANCIAL CODEPENDENCE

Financial codependence overcharges someone’s power plug

while hoping we never get electrocuted in the process.

Let me ask you … If financial codependence is terrible, why do so many of us choose it as a “viable” option?

The answer is, because we think that financial codependence will give us financial security. But nothing is further from the truth. And here is why:

Financial codependence happens when we plug all our Christmas lights (internal well-being) on someone else’s power plug: we trade our personal power for (perceived) financial security.

Allow me to explain:

After their divorce is finalized, many codependent women talk about the financial hole (debt) incurred after splitting the house, the bank accounts, the lawyer’s fees, etc. Anxious and worried, they share how unsafe they feel reintegrating the work force in their forties and fifties in order to sustain themselves financially. I get it. I used to be one of them.

Of course … I could have chosen (like many) to remain in an unhealthy marriage and continue giving out the illusion that I had my personal finances together. Back then, when someone made a comment about how financially wealthy I was, I quickly spoke about how blessed I was to be married to someone who made a truckload of money. But after my divorce, I blamed my ex-husband for my Christmas lights being out. Sound familiar?

Staying in an unhealthy marriage because we want financial security is never a viable solution.

Leaving an unhealthy marriage without knowing how to safely unplug our financial codependence is a recipe for ongoing misery.

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With that in mind, how do safely unplug financial codependence?

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Things become better when we focus on

  • becoming aware: “What makes me believe it’s “okay” to be financially dependent?”

  • setting our intention: “What am I willing to do right now to become financially independent?”

  • becoming accountable: “How can I keep striving for financial independence?”

To become financially independent, I’ve had to let go of many false beliefs attached to marriage, relationship, loyalty, family, etc. Remember … A failed marriage is never an excuse for failing to thrive financially. Therefore,

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Here are four applications to assist you to safely unplug financial codependence in your relationships:

 

  • Take a money course. Educate yourself in matters related to money and personal finances. Learn how to make a budget, a debt repayment plan, and a retirement plan that will give you the financial security you are craving.

 

  • Hire an Emotional Intelligence Coach. Disempowering beliefs often coat financial codependence with the illusion that it’s ‘okay’ for someone else to carry us financially for long periods of time. An EQ coach will help you adopt more empowering beliefs around money and personal finances.

 

  • Reintegrate the workforce now.  No matter how old you are, you add value just by being here, and you offer an expertise unique to you. I believe in you!

 

  • Learn how to present yourself. Take advantage of the many resources offered to women reintegrating the workforce. For example, you can get help on how to buff up your resume, dress appropriately for an interview, answer for gaps in your work experience, etc.

We can safely unplug financial codependence the moment we decide to (re)claim our personal plug (power). Let me help you. I’ve been there and I know the way to financial freedom. My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an emotional intelligence coach who writes for Forbes about money and personal finances. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us
Your EQ coach,
Anne

https://walkinginside.com
For another great resource, visit https://fullmontyleadership.com 
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Categories
Emotional Intelligence Personal Finances

HOW TO OVERCOME MONEY CHASING SYNDROME TO FIND HAPPINESS

When Joe (name changed) first came to see me, he said that money was everything to him. And it was driving him crazy! Can you relate?

Through my talking with him, I found out that Joe based the importance of people on the amount of money they made and their financial savings.

Though he earned a good salary, Joe dressed simply, because he refused to pay “too high” a price for clothes.

He also bagged all his lunches, stating that he preferred saving money rather than spend money engaging work colleagues over lunch in a restaurant.

Can you imagine what it feels like

to make money the basis of every decision?

Then Joe talked about being blackmailed by his parents.

Because he was the eldest, his parents relied on him to fill in the gaps in their budget. If he paid, they said he was a loving son. But if he refused to pay, they made disobliging remarks trying to shame him.

Wanting to help Joe, I asked,

“What would it be like if you stopped letting money control you?”

Joe beamed a giant smile. This young man said that he would put his parents back in their place with emotional boundaries based on his internal happiness.

He also said that he would buy his favourite clothes, restaurant food, a giant plasma TV, and other stuff.

That day, Joe went home with homework to do. He was to buy himself a meaningful gift while coming from a place of value rather than price.

At our next coaching session, Joe sat down, smiling. He showed me a picture of an item. I asked what it felt like to buy something valuable for him.

He looked away and said that he was waiting to buy that item at a later date because he believed it was coming on sale at some point.

What value do you place on your happiness?

Like so many of us, Joe was caught living his life from a place of happiness deprivation because he was so strictly focused on his personal finances bottom line.

Let me ask you…

Why do we let money dictate the terms of our happiness?

Why do we trade our happiness for money?

I believe the answer is, because we think more money will make us happier.

If that is true, how was Joe’s constant focus on happiness deprivation ever going to advance his dream of feeling happy? Clearly, letting money drive us crazy does NOT work.

Here are three (3) actionable steps to assist you to stop letting money drive you crazy and find happiness:

 

  • Identify all areas where you lack generosity in life … whether it is with your money, your time, your expertise, your affection, your encouragements, etc. To get perhaps a truer picture of your situation, also ask your loved ones, ‘Where do you see me lacking generosity?’

 

  • Focus on one specific area for 21 consecutive days. For example, if you need to be more generous with your encouragements towards your child, then every time you speak to your child for the next 21 days, make sure you say at least one good thing about them every single time.

 

  • Have an accountability system/person in place. Though many of us say we know what we need to do to become happier and stop letting money drive us crazy, however, what we believe and what we do do not always match. This is why having an accountability partner is crucial for us to reach our goals.

Now imagine somebody has just read these tips…

What do you believe is their greatest challenge?

Before he came to see me, Joe had all the best intentions in the world to be happy, BUT he lacked a solid accountability system. This is why, as soon as the next “bargain”  came along, he relapsed into his familiar stinginess which, like he said, drove him crazy and away from his internal happiness.

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who holds her clients highly accountable in all areas of their life, including their happiness, money, and their personal finances. You can reach me at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us/
Your EQ Coach,
Anne
www.walkinginside.com/products
Photo by Michael Longmire on Unsplash
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