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HOW TO ELIMINATE A OO7 DOUBLE LIFE

When James* called upon me, he asked that we meet in an open restaurant downtown Vancouver. Asking him why there instead of my office, he laughed and said, ‘Because I need it this way.’ 
 
On the agreed upon date and time of rendez-vous, James sat down in front of me and immediately placed his hands under the table where I could Not see them. This gesture alone told me a lot about James, how easily he pretended to be emotionally open yet felt the want to hide once in front of me.
 
Through my talking with him, I found out James was one of nine children from a very large Catholic South American family. He grew up being an altar boy, going to Sunday school, and saying prayers. But something was Not working for him… In his teenage years, he realized he was gay and being gay is apparently something deemed unacceptable in his family and culture.
 
 

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt rejected for what you are?

 
 
James moved to Vancouver, found a job, and said he met the ‘love of his life’, whom he married a couple of years later. Though saying he is happily married, James had two Facebook accounts, one ‘straight’ and one gay, to ‘spare’ the family as he said. Looking down, he confessed few people (if any) where he came from knew he was even married.
 
 

Can you imagine what it feels like to hide things from the people you love? 

 
 
In tears, James said he needed to come out of the closet as a gay and this is why he was coming to see me. He felt he could Not do it alone, he said this was too much for him to face alone.
 

 
I asked…
 
 

In a perfect world, what would your life be like right now?

 
 
Jame’s face brightened. He shared how he would only have one Facebook account and one Instagram account. He laughed saying he would show pictures from the ‘crazy’ adventures he and his husband have been on, their food expeditions, their vacations together, even their honeymoon trip…
 
I asked James if he truly loved his husband. Without hesitation he answered choking up, “Are you kidding me? He is the best thing that has ever happened to me!”
 
I replied,
 
 

When we truly love someone, including ourselves, do we hide who we are?

 
 
James burst into tears. He did Not seem to care anymore whether the waiter or other patrons saw him crying; his shoulders were heaving up and down with heavy sobs. Then he took a deep breath, clenched his teeth, and said, “I deserve better! My husband deserves better! I am coming out!” I was impressed by this fiery determination.
 
That day, he went home with homework to do. Over the next seven days, he had to call every member of his family, his eight siblings and two parents, and tell each one of them he was gay. His framework looked something like ‘I am calling to share something important to me. I am gay. Being gay is a part of me, it is Not all of me. I love you.”
 
 

Have you ever had to stand up for what you believe in? How easy was it?

 
 
At our next coaching session, James sat down with his journal open. Where he had drawn ten little people with their name on top of each, three of them were still left unmarked by an ‘X’ signifying ‘the job is done’ and they knew he was gay.
 
I open directly,
 
 

What happened to you missing your goal?

 
James grabbed his journal with both hands. He mumbled how he was Not truly close to the only sibling left on the list as this person had once sexually assaulted him when he was a kid… He also said how many of his siblings were now sending him harassment messages telling him he was ‘wrong’, going to ‘hell, and ‘Don’t tell mom and dad! They’re too old and mom’s depression is too bad!’
 
Like so many, James was caught once more living a double life, living in the background of his own life while trying to get ‘approval’ from others, especially from members of his family.
 
 

Whose approval is most important to you to be happy?

 
I pointed to the top of the page where all his little people drawings were and I asked him to write down a story title expressing what his goal is. His pen almost pierced the paper as he wrote in capital letters at the top,
 

“I AM COMING OUT!”

 
 
Let me ask you…
 

Why do we become untruthful?

Why do we pursue lies?

 
 
I believe the answer is, because we think it will be better.
 
Is it though? How was James’ constant lying about being gay going to advance his goal of coming out of the closet?
 
Clearly, denying our truth does Not work.
 
With this in mind…
 

How do things become better?

 

I believe, things become better when we focus on 

  • becoming truthful. ‘What is my truth?’

  • becoming intentional. ‘What can I do right now to uphold my truth?’

  • becoming accountable. ‘What can I do to hold myself accountable so I live my truth?

 
I could certainly relate to James. When I got married, I did not tell my then husband about the way I grew up, the level of violence. I thought he would ‘love’ me more if I buried what had happened to me as a child. Can you relate? My life changed for the better when I became truthful, intentional, and accountable.
 
 

Here are some rock solid tips to assist you who may suffer from ‘007 Double Life  Syndrome’:

Once you have identified what your truth is, whether it is to come of the closet as gay or lesbian, leave an unhappy marriage, change jobs, or …
 

  • Make a list of who needs to know. When we make the decision to come out with our truth, often, we tend to believe everyone ‘must’ know all at once. Spare yourself feeling overwhelmed, work in stages.

  • Come up with an on point message telling your truth. Keep it short. Keep it sweet. Keep it to the point. Understand there is plenty of time later to go into the ‘Why did this happen?’ if you ever chose to.

  • Have an accountability system/person in place. Though many of us say we ‘know’ what we need to do in order to be happy, many of us end up losing our nerve when the stakes are deemed high.Therefore, having someone on your team who is Not emotionally attached to your situation allows for actions with a greater sense of clarity.

 
 
Now imagine somebody has just read these tips…
 

What do you believe will be their greatest challenge?

 
Before James came to see me, he had all the best intentions in the world, BUT he lacked a solid accountability system. This is why as soon as he went into ‘What will they think of me?’ he lost his nerve of telling his truth to his family.
 
My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who holds her clients highly accountable so they get to live their truth openly, and like James, get to come out at the top of their story page.
 
For coaching inquiries, reach out to me at anne@walkinginside.com
 
Your Emotional Intelligence Coach,
Anne
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
 

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Accountability Anxiety Assertiveness Authenticity Awareness Blind Spots Commitment Compassion Conscience Courage Curiosity Decency Depression Dreams Emotional Intelligence Empathy Enabling Equality Faith Forgiveness freedom Frustration Gratefulness Guilt Happiness Hope Ignorance Inner Child Inner Peace Insanity Instinct Intellect Intent Intentions Intuition Joy Leadership Life Purpose Love Magic Mindfullness Parenting Self Patience Peace procrastination Racism Reality Relationship Sadness Sanity Satisfaction Self-Confidence Self-empowerment Self-Worth Sensitivity Space Success Tolerance Trust WalkingInside

ROUND AND ROUND

ROUND AND ROUND
 
Round and round
We go again
On the merry-go-round of life.
Ups and downs,
We think that’s life
Until we get off our mount.
 
Round and round
We go again
On the merry-go-round of life.
Laughter and tears
We think we’re here
Until we go deep within.
 
In and in
We go again
On the merry-go-round of life,
Darkness and light
Fuse into one
Until we go round and round.
 
With love & compassion,
Anne
 
What makes any of us go round and round in circles?
 
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
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acceptance Accountability Assertiveness Authenticity Awareness Commitment Compassion Confidence Conscience Courage Curiosity Emotional Intelligence Empathy Equality Faith Forgiveness freedom Friendship Gratefulness Happiness Hope Imagination Inner Child Inner Peace Intentions Intuition Joy Leadership Life Purpose Love Magic Mindfullness Parenting Self Peace Reality Relationship Satisfaction Self-Confidence Self-empowerment Self-Worth Sensitivity Space Tolerance WalkingInside

HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO GO?

HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO GO?
 
Am I willing to go beyond the stars
Where you and I were born
Where the sun befriends the moon
Where rainbows bridge us all?
 
Am I willing to go further than the eye can see
Where trees plant their roots
Where flowers drop their seeds
Where leaves take in the colours of seasons?
 
Am I willing to go deeper than the ocean floor
Where all the river beds make one
Where the illusion of division is triumphed over
Where we all feel as one?
 
How far am I willing to go?
 
I am willing to go
At the centre of myself
Where I hear it all begins
The point of origin
That unites us all.
 
I am willing to go
Where ‘broken’ lines disappear
Where there is no you or me
Where there is only a we.
 
I am willing to go
Where love is no more a concept
Where love becomes fully being
Where love is visible in all.
 
If ever I think I have reached this place
Where I hear it all begins
Ask me again
‘How far am I willing to go?’
And I will come back to
Being in the here and now
Until we all feel that we belong.
 
With Compassion,
Anne
 
www.walkinginside.com
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acceptance Accountability Assertiveness Authenticity Awareness Blind Spots Commitment Compassion Confidence Conscience Courage Curiosity Emotional Intelligence Empathy Enabling Equality Faith Forgiveness freedom Friendship Gratefulness Happiness Hope Ignorance Imagination Inner Child Inner Peace Insanity Intellect Intent Intentions Intuition Joy Leadership Life Purpose Love Magic Mindfullness Parenting Self Patience Peace Racism Reality Relationship Sadness Sanity Satisfaction Self-Confidence Self-empowerment Self-Worth Sensitivity Settling Shame Social Awareness Space Success Tolerance Trust WalkingInside

I — USED TO THINK

I — USED TO THINK
 
I used to think
A tree was just a tree
I saw it with my own mind
Roots, trunk, branches, leaves.
 
I used to think
You were different than me
I saw it with my own mind
Bodies, fences, judgement, fear.
 
Thanks to my mentor, I met me
For a moment, I stopped thinking,
In stillness, my mind cracked open
Discovering sunshine cooling breeze within.
 
How refreshing
To hear inside the giggles of a small child
Who never thought we were separate
Who’s always known we all belong.
 
Because of my love for this child and me
The lines in my mind are becoming blurry
If there is nothing separating you from me
Then, who am I? What are we?
 
Willing to know, I ask her to show me the way
How I may serve her from a place of integrity
Laughing, she is showing a world full of wonders
Where roots and bodies, you and me,
Are merging into, this or something greater,
Then… I used to think.
 
With love & compassion,
Anne
 
www.walkinginside.com
 
To know more about Soul Leadership: www.fullmontyleadership.com
 
P.S. With this post, I am including more forms and patterns I have seen when opening up pictures. This time, I am not showing the pictures they may have originated from because I want you to imagine what can possibly give rise to …
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acceptance Accountability Assertiveness Authenticity Awareness Blind Spots Commitment Compassion Confidence Conscience Courage Curiosity Dreams Emotional Intelligence Empathy Enabling Equality Faith Forgiveness freedom Friendship Gratefulness Happiness Hope Ignorance Inner Child Inner Peace Instinct Intellect Intent Intentions Intuition Joy Leadership Life Purpose Love Magic Mindfullness Parenting Self Patience Peace procrastination Reality Relationship Satisfaction Self-Confidence Self-empowerment Self-Worth Sensitivity Settling Social Awareness Space Speaking Success Tolerance Trust WalkingInside

AWAKENING

AWAKENING
 
I awoke in the middle of the night,
Frightened and scared,
Thinking I was alone.
I looked around the bedroom,
Stillness and shadows greeting me.
What an unfamiliar sight, I thought to myself,
To be alone with one’s thoughts,
To be shyly greeting one’s feelings.
 
Out of habit,
I called out a name,
Thinking you would come,
But the echo came back empty.
I did not yet understand,
Love is neither a name or a game,
It is a flowing feeling,
Like waves, rising and falling,
Amidst our own waters.
 
Thinking I knew better,
I turned my bed into a raft,
I paddled day and night,
Still hoping to find you,
Afloat on another raft nearby.
 
Feeling more lost than ever,
I finally stopped doing this crazy thing,
And started instead to
Listen to the wind
Who has always known my name.
 
It said,
“Dive,
Dive deep within,
For the one you are looking for,
The Beloved,
Is awaiting.”
 
I told the Wind,
“I am no Mermaid,
To flag my tale under water.”
And the Wind softly replied,
“Trust and Have Faith,
Within you is always the Way.”
 
So I took a majestic dive
Perhaps the way Dolphins do?
Feeling my own breathing
Echoing back to me
The beauty of universes within.
 
I now use my raft as a diving board,
In whatever room I find myself in,
I remember Ocean Waves belong
To the One
Awakened in the middle of the night.
 
With Deep Gratitude,
Anne
 
Dov Baron, thank you for being the Wind speaking softly to me, I am grateful
 
 
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
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IS HOPE KILLING YOUR DREAMS?

Have you ever looked at Hope in the face? If you have, did you notice how frozen on the spot she seems to be, while at the same time babbling about how she wished things were different? 
 
Two weeks ago, I have asked,
 

“What if Faith is upping one on her sister Hope at the dinner table? 

What then happens to Accountability?”

 
 
Well, pull up a chair, grab a slice of blueberry pie, and let’s find out together…
 
In the past, I used to rely heavily on Hope to carry me through the tough times. For example, I have said,
CASE #1: “I hope my baby makes it back from the ICU,” when I was told she was not expected to make it through the night.
CASE #2: “I hope my marriage gets better,” after one more heart wrenching  fight with my husband.
 
Out of these two situations, which one do you believe has survived? 
 
What makes you say this?
 
 
Let’s look at each case more closely…
 
CASE #1
It is 11 0’clock at night and we are told our three week old baby daughter has just gone into septic shock; her lungs are 90% filled with fluid. The team of five doctors in front of us tell us to say our goodbyes since our daughter is not expected to make it through the night. Crying tears of anger and hurt, I scream, “Do something!!!! There must be something we can do!” 
The doctors decide to take massive actions. They operate for 5 hours on our baby daughter:

  • They empty her of over 80% of her blood and replace it with fresh blood.

  • They fill her lungs with a building lungs substance called surfactant.

  • They put her on a 24 hours high-oxygen pumping ventilator.

  • They ……

Guess what? Our daughter survived and is now a 20 year old young woman in her third year university. 
 
 
CASE #2
It is mid-morning and the phone rings. On the other end of the line is my husband. I have not seen him for a couple of months already. He is working in China and I am based in Vancouver (BC) with our three children. He calls to say he has been offered a new job, Head of China for ING International. 
I am unhappy, “No! You promised! You promised to come back home for good.”
“Anne, be reasonable, this is great opportunity!” he says.
I think of the last six years I have been living on two continents, raising three kids mainly by myself. I am exhausted and I am fed up. I give him an ultimatum, “Either come home or I file for divorce.”
Guess what? We have been divorced for ten years.
 
 
Looking into both cases, what do you believe is the role Hope played?
 
For me, I believe, in the hospital, Hope was transformed into Faith because massive actions were taken to transform the situation. In my marriage, I believe Hope remained Hope because no real actions were actively taken to transform the situation.
 
I have asked,
 

“What if Faith is upping one on her sister Hope at the dinner table? 

What then happens to Accountability?”

 
 
Assuming that,
 

 Hope has zero energy spent towards active transformation,

 
And
 

Accountability is about taking 100% responsibility for our actions,

 
Then
 

Can you see how hope has zero accountability?

 
Because it seems that
 

Hope waits like a sitting duck for things to ‘magically’ get better by themselves.

 
Think about it for a moment….
 
It is my belief the moment Hope gets up and starts taking massive inspired actions, Hope transforms into Faith, and we become increasingly accountable for everything we do and/or refuse to do.
 
How do I know this?
 
Once upon a time, I used to be this woman who kept being frozen on the spot, babbling about how she wished things were different…. until one day, I got up and started taking massive actions to transform my life.
 
With love & compassion,
Anne
 
“It’s all about pie, honey!” is a blog series provided by Walking Inside Resources Inc. and dedicated to explore various emotional concepts in a pi setting.
 
My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Author, and Authentic Speaker. You can reach me at anne@walkinginside.com
 
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
 

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“SOMETHING PROFOUND HAPPENED, IT'S CHANGING MY LIFE”

This blog is highly personal. This Christmas Day, mid-afternoon, I was on my bed crying, physically unable to get back up.
 
It ‘all’ started on December 24; I get a phone call from my sister, she wants to wish me a merry Christmas. I am happy to hear from her; I have little contact with my bio family. I stop stuffing the turkey and walk into my bedroom where we can talk quietly.
 
She says my latest chapter book is creating waves in the family. She says my youngest brother, the one who almost died of a heart attack, the one I spent all last year mending my relationship with, has apparently decided to block me. Not believing her, I quickly go onto Facebook and realize he is ‘gone’.
 
After the phone call, I come back to the kitchen and decide to give myself, the kids, and our friends our best Christmas ever. I put my suffering aside.
 
As I am peeling potatoes, my daughter Elena comes standing beside me, “Maman, is everything okay? You look sad.”
 
In the past, I would have lied to her, I would have pretended all is well. Since I am done doing this kind of shit, I share with her where I am at.
 
She listens without a word, then asks,
 

“What’s the purpose of the call? Why you? Why now?”

 
I say I do not know. I go back to making gravy.
 
That Christmas Eve dinner turned out to be the best I have ever hosted. Every single one of my children and guest have agreed, unanimously, this was the best meal I have ever served in their life.
 
As I laid in bed at 3:30 am, I thought again of my sister’s words and the tears started rolling down my face. I was acutely aware that, once again, like so many years alike, I was crying once more on Christmas morning…
 
Later that day, everyone leaves (they had all crashed over). I look at my apartment. The success of the party is evident… food scattered everywhere… empty wine glasses… random blankets and pillows… tons of dirty dishes… I look at it all and smile faintly. Cleaning is going to take a while…
 
Instead of getting busy right away, I go and sit on my bed. I allow myself to feel my pain. I burst into tears.
 
I have done enough personal development work in my life to know the difference between ego wound and real sorrow.
 
So I asked myself,
 

“What is it that I truly need to feel here? What is this truly about?”

 
I hear the ‘weirdest’ thing ever, “I am a physical orphan”
 
As I let this fundamental truth – that we are physically born alone and die alone – sink into my physical body, I cannot hold it. The moment I felt this truth for myself, my hip flexors jammed. The psoas muscles, the ones what wrap around our spine and pelvis, jammed, and the next thing I knew, something touched the sciatic nerve and I ‘froze’ on the spot, howling in pain.
 
Everything became like a blur, I did not know anymore what was physical pain and what was suffering. I felt like I was on fire.
 
A darker part of me surfaces, “Look at you, the ‘great’ Anne, you’ve done all this work, and still… you can’t even get off your own bed!”
 
I can feel my muscles tightening, the physical pain increasing, I am listening to that voice, shit! I knew I was becoming small.
 
Every lesson my mentor Dov Baron has been teaching me for the last three years came into play.
 
I told myself,
 

“I don’t have to stay like this, I HAVE A CHOICE, I ALWAYS have a choice!!!” 

 
I asked myself,

“where is she, my little girl, my connection to myself?”

 
 
…and here she came, holding both my hands, standing beside me.
 

Instead of asking her what she could do for me, 

like I had done countless of times before,

I asked myself,

with every ounce of flowing love I have for me, 

“What do you need right now?”

 
She answered, “breathe, breathe bubbles of air into your back” and I heard giggles inside of me.
 
I chuckled, I was unsure what that meant, but I did my best to visualize my back and infuse mindful bubbles of air into it.
 
I felt something shifting a fraction of a hair. That something, it was enough to stop touching the sciatic nerve.
 
I take a few more deep breaths, I feel the pain stabilizing. I decide to get up.
 
It took me quite a few minutes to just stand. There were tears, many ouches , and quite a few swear words.
 
Smiling at my progress, I asked again,
 

“What do you need right now?” 

 
The little girl inside answered, “I’m hungry! I am soooo hungry!!!”
 
In that moment, I realized I was famished.
 
I slowly walk to the kitchen and cook myself a homemade turkey vegetables soup with toasted bread.
 
Eating my food, I became deeply aware that I had gone from being physically crippled on my bed to choosing to love me above all physical people, situations, and things. I believe this is my Christmas miracle, my true love gift to me. 
 
Sitting in front of my mentor on Tuesday, I had not seen him for the last three weeks, I start sharing this story by saying, “Something profound happened, and it’s changing my life”. Dov nodded gravely and with deep kindness in his eyes listens with an open heart.
 
From this experience, what I am realizing deeper than ever before is,
 

All that happens to us is a lesson to

Awaken our own love into us. 

We are all miracles of creation, worthy of a great love, 

starting with our own self.

 
With gratitude,
Anne
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
 

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acceptance Accountability Anger Authenticity Awareness Blind Spots Compassion Confidence Courage Curiosity Depression Dreams Equality Faith Forgiveness freedom Gratefulness Inner Child Intuition Joy Leadership Life Purpose Magic Mindfullness Peace Relationship Satisfaction Self-empowerment Self-Worth Trust

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR FEEDBACK LIKE THIS?

“I still remember our first conversation at Starbucks during my depression. I was in total self-denial that I am as dull as a stone. You stayed with me and told me that I am beautiful. It was you who hold the bigger vision for me and believe in my greatness. Thank you for loving me even when I was not able to do so. Thank you for seeing me as a valuable gem. :)”
Here is a letter one of my clients wrote to me in a Christmas card. It never ceases to amaze me the impact one can have on someone else’s life.
“Dear Anne,
Merry Christmas to you! Wow, where did the time go? We are entering 2017 already! Looking back, I am amazed at the growth in 2016, after all the hammering on my head. Sessions with you are like a treasure hunt. I look forward to search the gems and treasure with you – the gems and treasures within me. You have the magic to see them before I do. You always affirm me even when I don’t believe I have treasure within me. But I can gain some wealth in each session, as always, the journey to find the gem is not easy. How many times I chose to believe I am only a worthless stone? I still remember our first conversation at Starbucks during my depression. I was in total self-denial that I am as dull as a stone. You stayed with me and told me that I am beautiful. It was you who holds the bigger vision for me and believe in my greatness. Thank you for loving me even when I was not able to do so. Thank you for seeing me as a valuable gem. 🙂 
I am very blessed to witness your tremendous transformations and breakthrough in the past year. It was overwhelming and hope-lightening! You are very committed and disciplined, my dear. It’s like watching the circus show when the performer walks on the wire fearlessly. Your performance was amazing to us. But I know there’s countless failures, hurts, and hope-killings before you can walk on the wire with a calm heart. The inspiring part is, you keep trying regardless! You are courageous and truly fearless! I admire you being you – a lovable lady who never gives up. You are an inspiring light bulb which is busy shining her life. 
May the holiday season bring you rest, quietness, and joy, to prepare yourself for many more triumph to come!
(name)
December 2016

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WANT MORE BELIEF IN YOURSELF?

“How long we hold a vision without seeing it realized is the amount of faith we truly have in our self”, I believe.
 
Let me share with you this story.
 
On December 2, I finish work early at 3:00 pm. My plan is to get from Vancouver (BC) to Blaine (WA) to pick up the birthday gifts I have bought my daughter for her 20th birthday that weekend. The USA border is about 1 hour away by car and I know the parcel keeping place closes at 6:00 pm.
 
I check inside of me,

“Am I going to make it on time?’

The answer from my gut is a resonating YESI start driving. 

 
I live downtown and need to cross the city. Right way, I hit one of the biggest traffic jams in my history! I check again inside myself. “You said I am making it on time! Have you seen this traffic?”
 
The little voice quietly answered,

“You are having what you ordered, keep driving”

 
Have I ordered worry? Stress? Traffic jam? I try hard not to check the clock every 15 minutes. I try hard not to worry or stress myself out any further. I notice something. Every time I let go, the traffic seems to open up and I go faster. As soon as I go back inside my head, I hit another roadblock and traffic comes to a bumper halt!
 
By the time I arrive in the last Canadian town before the USA border, it is 5:40 pm and I have not yet crossed the border. I feel discouraged, I start berating myself. “How could my gut feeling be so wrong?”
 
Still driving, I share my doubt with my gut. My gut answers the same thing, ‘You are having what you ordered, keep driving”
 
Then I said to myself something I had not said before,
 

‘I don’t see how! I don’t know how! You’re the how! Make it happen!”

 
The little voice quietly answered, “Call them now”
 
I fumbled for my phone and called the parcel store. A young woman’s voice answers. I explain my situation, I feel defeated. Out of despair, I ask her, “Can you stay past six?”
 
She laughs, answers, “I can’t do that. The store closes in 5 minutes.”
 
“Is there nothing you can do? Nothing at all?” 
 
She pauses, says, “Actually, there is something I can do. What’s your email address? Give me 5 minutes to prepare, then check your emails.”
 
I have zero clue what she is talking about. Does it even matter at this point?
 
At 5:55 pm, I park side of the road, about 2 kms off the boarder. I take my phone out and go into emails. There was this email from her:
“Hi Anne,
Building door code: XXXX
Go to business locker #95. The locker combination is XXXX
You owe $14 in shipping charges. You can leave the cash into the locker, I will retrieve it in the morning. If you do not have cash on you, no worries. Next time you are in the store, you can pay us then. 
By the way, this locker is yours to use, quote it in all your shippings orders, so that you never go through what you just went through again.”
 
My mouth is wide open, a big giant O!
 
Never in my life would my mind have arrived at such a perfect solution for me! I am in awe, ‘How did I make this happen?’
 
I cross the border without looking at the dashboard clock. I get to the building and stand in the parking lot. The air is crisp, I can see my breath in the cold winter night. I notice a bright moon and I feel alive, taller, like her, brighter too. I thank the moon and walk towards the building. As I enter the code and I hear the door click open, it is as if I am entering some kind of sanctuary. I am deeply aware someone is trusting me to honour and respect their place. On the way out, my parcels lovingly tucked in my arms, I remember her only request, “Remember to turn the lights off on your way out.”
 
That day, my faith in me was tested. Did I falter? Yes. Did I have doubt? Yes. Did I keep going despite the doubt? Yes. I truly believe this is why my faith rewarded me. That day, I was able to keep going despite any evidence of ever seeing my goal realized. In the process, guess what? My goal realized itself.
 
I trust this article inspires you to have more faith in yourself. My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach, #1 Amazon International Bestseller Author, and an Authentic Speaker. I can be reached at anne@walkinginside.com.
 
With warmest gratitude,
Anne
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
#emotionalintelligence #walkinginside #faith #selfbelief #confidence #selflove #gratitude

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Faith Leadership Trust

'SEEKING PROOF STANDS IN THE WAY; IT SLOWS US DOWN.'

Maybe you are like me, maybe you are not. If you are, you have been looking for proof to prove to yourself (and others) that you are ‘right’, on the ‘right’ track, or both. For example, you have been looking for proof that you are ‘loved’ or ‘esteemed’. You have been looking for proof that you ‘know’ what you are doing and ‘where’ you are going. If this has been your way of life, have you ever considered that consistently looking for proof slows down your path to greatness?
Are you ready to hear something different?
Yesterday, like many other Tuesday mornings, I headed to North Vancouver to meet with my reiki mentor/teacher. Her name is Barbara and I met her a few years ago. At the time, I was disconnected emotionally and now knowing it. I told her I wanted to apprentice under her to become a reiki master. What I had not expected then was that she has become like a mother figure to me. She has witnessed my emotional fall and the dark depression I fell into. She has witnessed my rise and my deep desire to serve. Through it all, she has hugged me, wiped my tears, caressed my face, and told me she loves me. Yesterday, she shared with me something different. Maybe because I am ready to hear it? She said, ‘seeking proof stands in the way; it slows us down’.
What are you clinging to as proof you are ‘right’?
I looked at her as if she had grown horns and was not anymore the sweet angel I had come to know. ‘What do you mean by that? I spend a great deal of time proving to myself I am on the right path.’ She smiles kindly, unfazed by my sudden laser-beaming eyes on her. She shares with me how she knew at 15 years old she will not have children of her own. She knew in her heart that she will not give birth or legally adopt children in this lifetime. ‘How I knew? I do not know, but I trusted. I trusted, I have faith.’ Now I am looking at her sideways and changing my sitting position on the couch. I move forward, I want to know more. ‘I did not ask myself why I will not have children or not. I accepted it. I did not fight it, I did not reason with it. I accepted there was a purpose for it and I let it go.’ Another smile of hers comes my way. She is so patient with me. She continues sharing how, as the VP of Canadian Reiki Association, she has seen hundreds and hundreds of students come through her door over the years. They, like me, have become like her children. ‘See, Anne, if I had seeked proof as to why I believed I will not have children, I would have stood in the way of all the ‘children’ who have come my way.’
Are you willing to do different?
She has a point. I had not thought of it that way before. ‘Seeking proof stands in the way and slows us down.’ In the past, I lived mostly in my head. I looked for proof I was right and other people were well… wrong. Even after going into my heart, I have been seeking proof I am on the ‘right’ path. A lot! Now, what if I let all of it go and trust my heart? What if I hold faith as my guide and whatever happens is meant for me and I am ok with it? Then what? How will my life be different? How will I be different? Holy shit, I thought I would fall off the couch. I realized I will progress a lot faster when I focus on trusting myself more and having faith in me instead of consistently looking for reassurance outside of me I am on the ‘right’ path. I do not know about you, but this is a magical lesson for me, a lesson worth living and sharing.
#emotionalintelligence #walkinginside #annebeaulieu #faith #trust #self-leadership
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