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Conscience Emotional Intelligence

SEEING CONSCIENCE THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

The word conscience alone is enough to put a three year-old child to sleep. Do you agree?

Because … For many children (and us too!), the word conscience is a biiig word.

Perhaps you’ve had a different experience than me, but I haven’t met a three year-old yet who has ever named their family dog, Conscience.

And I haven’t met many adults (including me in the past) who can clearly explain what a conscience is. Especially in a way that most three year-old children can easily relate to.

What is a conscience to a three-year old kid?

In order for me to understand what a word means, I often start by researching its meaning(s) in the dictionary.

Call my old-fashioned, but I like looking at various meanings across various cultures too. It’s what I call, getting a broader perspective.

Here’s what I’ve discovered:

In the English and French languages, the word conscience comes from the prefix com (meaning with or thoroughly) and the word scire (meaning to know or knowledge).

What this means is: in the English and French cultures, a conscience seems to be that knowledge thing, that thing we know.

Like me, you are now perhaps wondering,

“But what is that thing? And what does it do exactly?”

Ahhh! Some of us might tend to say that our conscience is that thing telling us what is right and what is wrong. In that context, a conscience is that thing asking us to do the right thing, no matter what.

However, in some academic circles, I have heard that conscience is the ability to know one’s self. “Ouf!” as the French say. That’s a tall order for anyone, even a three-year old, do you agree?

Which brings me to the following question: Though these various meanings are great on the surface, how can they relate exactly to the way a three year-old thinks?

Yes, there are many studies and experts in the field who are telling us that a child understands right and wrong by the age of two.

Well, I guess I am not that average child, because I grew up in house where right or wrong is mostly determined based on someone’s moods and circumstances. In other words, my parents’ moral compass seem to have more to do with what they personally had to gain from a situation.

Maybe that explains my fascination to this day with what a conscience is and what it does for us.

As luck would have it, I stumbled upon the word conscience while studying Chinese mandarin. And what I have discovered is fascinating!

In Chinese mandarin, a conscience is called liangxin (良心)。
The word xin (心) means heart. That symbol does look like a heart, right?
The word liang (良) means valiant, strong, pure, good. This symbol is strongly associated to a warrior’s character.
Therefore, in the Chinese language,

A conscience is a valiant warrior upholding the good of our hearts. 

In light of this, here’s my suggestion to you.

Next time you meet a three year-old child, explain to them that their conscience is this valiant warrior within upholding the good of our hearts. We all have one. And it works for all of us.

I trust that you have enjoyed reading this article. I’d love to know your thoughts. Please drop a comment below or contact me directly at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us

Your EQ coach,
Anne

To shop the adult fairy tales series for developing emotional intelligence, visit https://walkinginside.com/products
Photo by Michael Mims on Unsplash

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HOW TO ELIMINATE A OO7 DOUBLE LIFE

When James* called upon me, he asked that we meet in an open restaurant downtown Vancouver. Asking him why there instead of my office, he laughed and said, ‘Because I need it this way.’ 
 
On the agreed upon date and time of rendez-vous, James sat down in front of me and immediately placed his hands under the table where I could Not see them. This gesture alone told me a lot about James, how easily he pretended to be emotionally open yet felt the want to hide once in front of me.
 
Through my talking with him, I found out James was one of nine children from a very large Catholic South American family. He grew up being an altar boy, going to Sunday school, and saying prayers. But something was Not working for him… In his teenage years, he realized he was gay and being gay is apparently something deemed unacceptable in his family and culture.
 
 

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt rejected for what you are?

 
 
James moved to Vancouver, found a job, and said he met the ‘love of his life’, whom he married a couple of years later. Though saying he is happily married, James had two Facebook accounts, one ‘straight’ and one gay, to ‘spare’ the family as he said. Looking down, he confessed few people (if any) where he came from knew he was even married.
 
 

Can you imagine what it feels like to hide things from the people you love? 

 
 
In tears, James said he needed to come out of the closet as a gay and this is why he was coming to see me. He felt he could Not do it alone, he said this was too much for him to face alone.
 

 
I asked…
 
 

In a perfect world, what would your life be like right now?

 
 
Jame’s face brightened. He shared how he would only have one Facebook account and one Instagram account. He laughed saying he would show pictures from the ‘crazy’ adventures he and his husband have been on, their food expeditions, their vacations together, even their honeymoon trip…
 
I asked James if he truly loved his husband. Without hesitation he answered choking up, “Are you kidding me? He is the best thing that has ever happened to me!”
 
I replied,
 
 

When we truly love someone, including ourselves, do we hide who we are?

 
 
James burst into tears. He did Not seem to care anymore whether the waiter or other patrons saw him crying; his shoulders were heaving up and down with heavy sobs. Then he took a deep breath, clenched his teeth, and said, “I deserve better! My husband deserves better! I am coming out!” I was impressed by this fiery determination.
 
That day, he went home with homework to do. Over the next seven days, he had to call every member of his family, his eight siblings and two parents, and tell each one of them he was gay. His framework looked something like ‘I am calling to share something important to me. I am gay. Being gay is a part of me, it is Not all of me. I love you.”
 
 

Have you ever had to stand up for what you believe in? How easy was it?

 
 
At our next coaching session, James sat down with his journal open. Where he had drawn ten little people with their name on top of each, three of them were still left unmarked by an ‘X’ signifying ‘the job is done’ and they knew he was gay.
 
I open directly,
 
 

What happened to you missing your goal?

 
James grabbed his journal with both hands. He mumbled how he was Not truly close to the only sibling left on the list as this person had once sexually assaulted him when he was a kid… He also said how many of his siblings were now sending him harassment messages telling him he was ‘wrong’, going to ‘hell, and ‘Don’t tell mom and dad! They’re too old and mom’s depression is too bad!’
 
Like so many, James was caught once more living a double life, living in the background of his own life while trying to get ‘approval’ from others, especially from members of his family.
 
 

Whose approval is most important to you to be happy?

 
I pointed to the top of the page where all his little people drawings were and I asked him to write down a story title expressing what his goal is. His pen almost pierced the paper as he wrote in capital letters at the top,
 

“I AM COMING OUT!”

 
 
Let me ask you…
 

Why do we become untruthful?

Why do we pursue lies?

 
 
I believe the answer is, because we think it will be better.
 
Is it though? How was James’ constant lying about being gay going to advance his goal of coming out of the closet?
 
Clearly, denying our truth does Not work.
 
With this in mind…
 

How do things become better?

 

I believe, things become better when we focus on 

  • becoming truthful. ‘What is my truth?’

  • becoming intentional. ‘What can I do right now to uphold my truth?’

  • becoming accountable. ‘What can I do to hold myself accountable so I live my truth?

 
I could certainly relate to James. When I got married, I did not tell my then husband about the way I grew up, the level of violence. I thought he would ‘love’ me more if I buried what had happened to me as a child. Can you relate? My life changed for the better when I became truthful, intentional, and accountable.
 
 

Here are some rock solid tips to assist you who may suffer from ‘007 Double Life  Syndrome’:

Once you have identified what your truth is, whether it is to come of the closet as gay or lesbian, leave an unhappy marriage, change jobs, or …
 

  • Make a list of who needs to know. When we make the decision to come out with our truth, often, we tend to believe everyone ‘must’ know all at once. Spare yourself feeling overwhelmed, work in stages.

  • Come up with an on point message telling your truth. Keep it short. Keep it sweet. Keep it to the point. Understand there is plenty of time later to go into the ‘Why did this happen?’ if you ever chose to.

  • Have an accountability system/person in place. Though many of us say we ‘know’ what we need to do in order to be happy, many of us end up losing our nerve when the stakes are deemed high.Therefore, having someone on your team who is Not emotionally attached to your situation allows for actions with a greater sense of clarity.

 
 
Now imagine somebody has just read these tips…
 

What do you believe will be their greatest challenge?

 
Before James came to see me, he had all the best intentions in the world, BUT he lacked a solid accountability system. This is why as soon as he went into ‘What will they think of me?’ he lost his nerve of telling his truth to his family.
 
My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who holds her clients highly accountable so they get to live their truth openly, and like James, get to come out at the top of their story page.
 
For coaching inquiries, reach out to me at anne@walkinginside.com
 
Your Emotional Intelligence Coach,
Anne
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
 

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IS LINKEDIN BECOMING THE NEW TINDER?

Have you ever received a message from one of your LinkedIn contacts? In that moment, where were you physically? Were you at the office sitting at your desk? Were you standing at home with your toddler in your arms? Perhaps your spouse or teenager walked into the room as you were checking your messages? Keep these scenarios in mind as you read on…
 
One of my LinkedIn contacts, S. D., sent me a message in which he shared how his mother had recently died. He said he was feeling lost’ and needed ‘empathy’. Since we all go through turbulent moments sometimes, I messaged him with words I trust are compassionate. I received the following response from him, “this is what I meant by empathy in message. sorry im not happy doing this or when I’m not doing this. please have empathy. thanks”. 
 
To assist you in getting what S.D. was saying by ‘this is what I meant by empathy’, know that he sent me a full profile close-up picture of an erect penis. The picture was taken at such a close range that pubic hair and veins were easily discernible or perhaps it was just my big Mac screen tricking my eyes?
 
 

Do you consider racy pictures a rare occurrence on LinkedIn?

 
 
For many of my business contacts, including myself, this is actually a common reality. In the course of business, many of us get solicited by what I call ‘The Invisible Crowd’, the men and women who believe they need to show racy pictures in order to get our attention.
 
 
S.D. seems quite young, early 20s, about the same age as my adult son. You might wonder,
 
 

Could young adults be the only ones sharing racy pictures on LinkedIn?

The answer is NO.

 
 
Let me introduce to you D.L. who is in his late 30s apparently. In his message to me, he said that he found me ‘hot’  and wanted to ‘f*ck  me’. Perhaps wanting to make sure I really got what he was saying, I got one penis picture (sparing you this one again) and a series of chest / muscles pictures (like the one included with this article). The difference between him and S.D. is that S.D. messaged me directly on LinkedIn and D.L. took my business cell phone from my LinkedIn profile to text me his ‘information’.
 
 

Is LinkedIn becoming the new Tinder?

 
Meet D. S., a businessman I presume to be in his 40s based on the fully clothed picture of himself that accompanied his email. Here is what he had to say after checking my profile on LinkedIn and grabbing my business email from the LinkedIn network:
 

  “… I must confess you are pretty…”

“… I understand the medium is a business networking medium and not a dating or social networking website and i don’t intend to use it for one .”

“…hope to learn more about you too that is if you are single…”

 
 
Still not convinced about the lack of ethical behaviour some LinkedIN users are displaying? Let’s ask A.W. to see what he has to say. A.W. claims he is in his 50s and, like D.S., checked my LinkedIn profile then grabbed my business email from there:
 

“I read your profile on linked-in and you caught my eye…”

“This is all new for me, it is the  first time i would ever go against protocol of doing business only on the Linked-in website.”

“You should check me out and let me know what you think.”

 
 
Some people are shocked when I share with them the level of unethical behaviour I am at times encountering on LinkedIn from men and women of all ages. Like me, they have also seen instances where people have spoken up against racy pictures or trolling emails, saying that, “LinkedIn is Not the new Tinder.”
 
My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach. Though I am skilled at addressing potential unethical behaviours in the workplace, many business professionals are not as they have shared with me in private sessions.
 

Now, to the people behaving like predators on LinkedIn, here is what I have to say:

 

Saying that you do not know you are behaving unethically, 

when the evidence clearly says you do know,

 is a terrible defence. 

 
 
If you want to lie to yourself, feel free to do so. Just don’t lie to me.
 

According to the Canadian Mental Health Commission of Canada, in any given year:

  • 1/5 in Canada experiences a mental health problem or illness, with a cost of over $50 BILLION to the economy.

  • Only 1/3 who experience a mental health problem or illness report that they have sought and received services and treatment.

  • In the workplace, mental health problems and illnesses typically account for approximately 30% of short- and long-term disability.

  • Mental health problems and illnesses are rated one of the top three drivers of both short- and long-term disability claims by more than 80% of Canadian employers.

  • As early as 2010, mental health conditions were responsible for 47% of all approved disability claims in the federal civil service, almost double the percentage of twenty years earlier.

  • Mental health problems and illnesses also account for more than $6 billion in lost productivity.

 
This is just Canada… Now imagine what the numbers must be like in the USA with their population 10X bigger than Canada’s…
 
Just for fun, let’s do a quick math… Let’s take a Canadian company of 1,000 employees…

  • 200 (1/5) employees are currently experiencing a mental health problem or illness.

  • Since only 33% are seeking treatment (33% x 200 = 66), this means 134 (200-66) are playing ostrich. What does playing ostrich mean? Playing ostrich means answering ‘I’m fine!’ when one’s world is actually collapsing on the inside.

Now, for these 134 employees refusing to acknowledge they might need more emotional intelligence tools and techniques… maybe you even know someone in this situation right now…
 

What is the cost to your company for short- and long-term disability pay-out? 

 

What is the cost to your company in lost productivity?

 

What is the cost to your company in potential harassment lawsuits?

 
Before answering, bear in mind I received these pictures during business hours and these four persons were most likely sitting at their office desk, maybe even across you…
 

But perhaps… worst of all…

 

What is the cost to you for having been exposed to predator behaviours?

Emotionally?

Financially?

Physically?

Spiritually? 

 
What is the cost to your spouse or your child who happened to be in the same room as you when you checked your LinkedIn messages and got greeted by an erect penis, physical chest, or close-up vagina?
 
Let me get something straight…
 
 

It’s not because you may not see it in your own LinkedIn inbox 

that racy pictures/emails/texts do not exist 

within your business network or company. 

 
 

Playing ostrich to predator behaviour

not only condones this behaviour (agreement by looking the other way), 

it has the potential of becoming extremely costly to you and your company.

 
 
Since people suffering from mental illness cost the Canadian economy $50 BILLION IN ANY GIVEN YEAR, what are these 134 employees truly costing a 1,000 employees company?
 
Assuming that total claims by overall employees equal $500,000 (I am being extremely generous by stating a low number as an example) and 47% are mental related claims, we are looking at a ballpark number of $235,000 (47% x $500,000)
 
Without a doubt, $235,000 is a lot of money that could have been contributed generously to any financial bottom line or even your year-end bonus.
 
By hiring me as your Emotional Intelligence Coach, spending $50,000- $75,000 to ensure your employees understand, live, and uphold strong emotional boundaries is a relatively small fee to pay compared to $235,000 with a raining chance of even more costly harassment lawsuits. From where I am sitting, it looks like a financial savings of 80%+.
 

Is LinkedIn becoming the new Tinder?

Are you truly prepared to find out?

 
My name is Anne Beaulieu. I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach and Authentic Speaker who can be reached at anne@walkinginside.com. Let’s make Emotional Intelligence a growing asset within your company instead of you incurring a predator-type liability.
 
Respectfully,
Anne
P.S. If you wish to receive the names of these four persons behaving like predators to ensure they are never part of your business network, kindly let me know. I do have pictures and emails to support what I have shared in this article.
 
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
 

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ROUND AND ROUND

ROUND AND ROUND
 
Round and round
We go again
On the merry-go-round of life.
Ups and downs,
We think that’s life
Until we get off our mount.
 
Round and round
We go again
On the merry-go-round of life.
Laughter and tears
We think we’re here
Until we go deep within.
 
In and in
We go again
On the merry-go-round of life,
Darkness and light
Fuse into one
Until we go round and round.
 
With love & compassion,
Anne
 
What makes any of us go round and round in circles?
 
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
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HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO GO?

HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO GO?
 
Am I willing to go beyond the stars
Where you and I were born
Where the sun befriends the moon
Where rainbows bridge us all?
 
Am I willing to go further than the eye can see
Where trees plant their roots
Where flowers drop their seeds
Where leaves take in the colours of seasons?
 
Am I willing to go deeper than the ocean floor
Where all the river beds make one
Where the illusion of division is triumphed over
Where we all feel as one?
 
How far am I willing to go?
 
I am willing to go
At the centre of myself
Where I hear it all begins
The point of origin
That unites us all.
 
I am willing to go
Where ‘broken’ lines disappear
Where there is no you or me
Where there is only a we.
 
I am willing to go
Where love is no more a concept
Where love becomes fully being
Where love is visible in all.
 
If ever I think I have reached this place
Where I hear it all begins
Ask me again
‘How far am I willing to go?’
And I will come back to
Being in the here and now
Until we all feel that we belong.
 
With Compassion,
Anne
 
www.walkinginside.com
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acceptance Accountability Assertiveness Authenticity Awareness Blind Spots Commitment Compassion Confidence Conscience Courage Curiosity Emotional Intelligence Empathy Enabling Equality Faith Forgiveness freedom Friendship Gratefulness Happiness Hope Ignorance Imagination Inner Child Inner Peace Insanity Intellect Intent Intentions Intuition Joy Leadership Life Purpose Love Magic Mindfullness Parenting Self Patience Peace Racism Reality Relationship Sadness Sanity Satisfaction Self-Confidence Self-empowerment Self-Worth Sensitivity Settling Shame Social Awareness Space Success Tolerance Trust WalkingInside

I — USED TO THINK

I — USED TO THINK
 
I used to think
A tree was just a tree
I saw it with my own mind
Roots, trunk, branches, leaves.
 
I used to think
You were different than me
I saw it with my own mind
Bodies, fences, judgement, fear.
 
Thanks to my mentor, I met me
For a moment, I stopped thinking,
In stillness, my mind cracked open
Discovering sunshine cooling breeze within.
 
How refreshing
To hear inside the giggles of a small child
Who never thought we were separate
Who’s always known we all belong.
 
Because of my love for this child and me
The lines in my mind are becoming blurry
If there is nothing separating you from me
Then, who am I? What are we?
 
Willing to know, I ask her to show me the way
How I may serve her from a place of integrity
Laughing, she is showing a world full of wonders
Where roots and bodies, you and me,
Are merging into, this or something greater,
Then… I used to think.
 
With love & compassion,
Anne
 
www.walkinginside.com
 
To know more about Soul Leadership: www.fullmontyleadership.com
 
P.S. With this post, I am including more forms and patterns I have seen when opening up pictures. This time, I am not showing the pictures they may have originated from because I want you to imagine what can possibly give rise to …
Categories
acceptance Accountability Assertiveness Authenticity Awareness Blind Spots Commitment Compassion Confidence Conscience Courage Curiosity Dreams Emotional Intelligence Empathy Enabling Equality Faith Forgiveness freedom Friendship Gratefulness Happiness Hope Ignorance Inner Child Inner Peace Instinct Intellect Intent Intentions Intuition Joy Leadership Life Purpose Love Magic Mindfullness Parenting Self Patience Peace procrastination Reality Relationship Satisfaction Self-Confidence Self-empowerment Self-Worth Sensitivity Settling Social Awareness Space Speaking Success Tolerance Trust WalkingInside

AWAKENING

AWAKENING
 
I awoke in the middle of the night,
Frightened and scared,
Thinking I was alone.
I looked around the bedroom,
Stillness and shadows greeting me.
What an unfamiliar sight, I thought to myself,
To be alone with one’s thoughts,
To be shyly greeting one’s feelings.
 
Out of habit,
I called out a name,
Thinking you would come,
But the echo came back empty.
I did not yet understand,
Love is neither a name or a game,
It is a flowing feeling,
Like waves, rising and falling,
Amidst our own waters.
 
Thinking I knew better,
I turned my bed into a raft,
I paddled day and night,
Still hoping to find you,
Afloat on another raft nearby.
 
Feeling more lost than ever,
I finally stopped doing this crazy thing,
And started instead to
Listen to the wind
Who has always known my name.
 
It said,
“Dive,
Dive deep within,
For the one you are looking for,
The Beloved,
Is awaiting.”
 
I told the Wind,
“I am no Mermaid,
To flag my tale under water.”
And the Wind softly replied,
“Trust and Have Faith,
Within you is always the Way.”
 
So I took a majestic dive
Perhaps the way Dolphins do?
Feeling my own breathing
Echoing back to me
The beauty of universes within.
 
I now use my raft as a diving board,
In whatever room I find myself in,
I remember Ocean Waves belong
To the One
Awakened in the middle of the night.
 
With Deep Gratitude,
Anne
 
Dov Baron, thank you for being the Wind speaking softly to me, I am grateful
 
 
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
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HOW TO ASSESS ONE'S OWN INTEGRITY

If there were 1,000 eyes constantly looking at you…

 

  • Would you yell at your children for not finishing their homework on time?

  • Would you give your spouse the cold shoulder for not taking out the trash?

  • Would you binge on potato chips or self-deprive through a 500 daily calories diet?

.
Many people, including me in the past, would answer no to one or more of these questions.
 
And yet,
 

Many of us might still behave out of integrity when

we think no one is watching… 

 

Why is that?

 
 
 
Me? I used to be obsessed with perfectionism. Things had to go my way, my way only.
 
This meant… homework had to finished at a specific time or else… trash had to be taken out every day or else….
 
The more and more things I believed were not going my way, the more and more I became agitated, anxious, angry. If unable to turn my negative emotions onto others (blame), I turned onto myself, either binging on potato chips or ‘eating’ 2 coffees that day….
 
Silly, isn’t it?
 
Through massive self-awareness efforts with my mentor, I have come to understand I was deeply out of integrity because my want for perfection was massively associated my want for external approval.
 
I was one of the greatest bullshitters on earth! Holy Shit!
 
Why?
 
Because I had bullshitted myself into believing my want for perfection was making me a person of integrity!
 
As if perfection and integrity automatically go together?
 
As if the want for perfection is ‘reason enough’ to never question one’s own integrity?
 
Like I used to blame, “Other people are always the problem, not me!”
 
O dear!
 
Sounds familiar?
 

At times (many actually), I told myself I ‘had to’ behave out of integrity because…

  • I wanted my children to have the best education! Somehow, yelling and education went together in my head?

  • I wanted to have the best relationship with my spouse! Somehow, cold shoulder and love went together in my head?

  • I wanted to have the best relationship with me! Somehow, making myself emotionally / physically sick and worthiness went together in my head?

 
Once I became more accepting that I was deeply out of integrity, I asked myself,
 

What is integrity?

 
And I have found,
 

Integrity is doing what is rightful, 

even when there is zero personal reward.

 
 
 
Mmmm… looking back at my past behaviours…
 

  • What was the pay-off for yelling at my children? I got to control them.

  • What was the pay-off in giving my (now ex) spouse the cold shoulder? I got to prove myself  ‘right’, the ‘I am better than you’.

  • What was the pay-off for mistreating myself? I got to prove my father right, the ‘I am a piece of shit’.

 
I don’t know about you, but…
 

I see with my own two eyes now,

nothing great comes from being out of integrity with the self.

Do you agree?

 
 
In light of this,
 

How does one become more IN INTEGRITY with self?

 

  • We do what is rightful no matter what. If yelling at children in front of strangers is not something you dare do in fear of perhaps being confronted, then refrain from yelling at others or your self behind closed doors.

  • We accept 100% responsibility for our actions. If you chose a spouse who could not care less about the trash, either happily take out the trash yourself, stop bitching, or leave him/her if trash is a deal breaker for you.

  • We give true feeling information, we are honest with self and others. If ‘monsters’ from the past are not dealt with emotionally, how honest can anyone possibly be with themselves, never mind others? This one has been and continues to be a true eye opener for me…

  • We state our emotional boundaries clearly, what we need. As Socrates said, “Know thyself.”

  • We express our truth effectively without beating around the bush. When it comes to integrity, clarity is everything. It is my strong belief (born out of realization), there is nothing like vagueness to derail one’s integrity.

 
Think about it…
 

Integrity is doing what is rightful 

even when there is zero personal reward,

even when no one else seems to be watching.

 
 
I trust you have found value in this article. My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who assists her clients in coming from a place of deep integrity within themselves. I can be reached at anne@walkinginside.com
 
With love & compassion,
Anne
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com
 

Categories
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WHERE DOES IGNORANCE COME FROM?

I am curious… I mean, where does an infant like Ignorance come from? It is a good question, isn’t it? Worth exploring, don’t you think?
 
For many of us, eating pie can be a comforting food while pondering life. So pull up a chair, grab a slice of pi, and let’s see together where Ignorance might come from.
 
“Where does Ignorance come from?” I casually ask its mother, Know-It-All.
 
From my own dealings in the past,
 

Know-It-All is like an egg, a fragile entity, who most often cracks and takes offence easily.

 
Know-It-All squints at me reproachfully. “Who asks stupid questions like this? Everyone knows where Ignorance comes from!”
 
Wrong approach, looks like.
 

With Know-It-Alls, I believe a compassionate approach is a most likely viable solution.

 
I smile at her kindly and rephrase my question. “I apologize for asking a question that is perhaps clear for you. Let me rephrase, What was going through your mind when you decided to have Ignorance?”
 
She puffs on her cigarette, her third addiction in a row that morning. “I just wanted my child to look like me, you know, to have my savoir-vivre (know how to live) and savoir-faire (know how to do). She flicks her hair backward through a haze of smoke.
 
I clear my throat. “May I ask, who is Ignorance’s father?”
 
“Ah! Don’t get me started about that bastard! I am so angry with him!”
 
My eyes grow bigger. Who can she be talking about?
 
“That Curiosity! He thought he was better than me! He kept asking me questions over and over, stupid shit like ‘I really want to know you.’ You tell me, who talks like this?”
 
I so want to answer, “Conscious people do!” but I choose to remind myself to stay clear of rebuttals with Know-It-Alls, simply because they own the pool of right answers apparently.
 
I go fishing in deeper waters, like many curious people do. “Is Curiosity Ignorance’s father?”
 
She looks at me like I have suddenly grown two heads. “Are you insane? No, he is not! At first, I wanted him to be, but I did what was the right thing to do, you know. I went to a non-revealing sperm bank! My baby deserves the best daddy in the world!”
 
This is getting more and more fascinating. Know-It-Alls massively seem to be full of plots and twists…
 
I ask, “Who is the ‘lucky’ daddy?”
 
She ignores the way I said ‘lucky’. I believe this is the main problem with Know-It-Alls, they tend to ignore potentially important communicated data to suit their own beliefs. 
 
“Well, the top sellers were Love and Compassion, but they had conditions! Can you believe it? They require the recipient to be in their heart to truly feel the reflection of them. I mean, who gives a shit? All I wanted was a baby just like me!”
 
I feel for her, this conversation is apparently upsetting her; she is now tossing on her chair, unfocused. I get it for I have found Know-It-Alls often lack skills with how to deal with information provided to them. 
 
“So, who is Ignorance’s father?” I ask again gently.
 
Know-It-All cracks and starts sobbing, “I don’t know, I just don’t know! They said it did not matter and I listened to them!”
 
“Who is ‘they’?”
 
Between hiccups, she answers, “The people… the parents who own the clinic where Ignorance comes from… and the previous clinic owners too, which I was told was their parents!”
 
I am trying really hard to make sense of what she is saying. “So you are telling me you do not know who Ignorance’s father is because you were told once upon a time it did not matter by the parents and those who came before them?”
 
“Exactly! This is why nothing is my fault! Me, I just wanted a baby like me!”
 
 
Based on this short story,
 
 

Where does Ignorance come from?

 

I believe,

 

  • Ignorance comes from anyone who takes offence easily. If a person gets easily insulted to begin with, how secure (knowledgeable of their self) are they truly?

 

  • Ignorance comes from anyone who believes they have all the right answers. If one fails to be continuously curious in life, how deep do you believe is their pool of knowledge about self and others?

 

  • Ignorance comes from anyone who lacks skills in processing communicated information. If one chooses to ignore or deny data in order to prove themselves right, it begs the question, what do they call ‘knowledge’?

 
 
At this point, I would like to share that most of my life, I used to behave like a Know-It-All and I have paid the price dearly for my own Ignorance. Because of my lack of self-examining in the past, I have passed hundreds of false beliefs to my three children. Now, to keep this potential close-mindedness at bay, I am diligently focusing on coming from a place of deep curiosity within me. The rest as they say, becomes history…
With love & compassion,
Anne
 
“It’s all about pie, honey!” is a blog series sponsored by Walking Inside Resources Inc. and dedicated to explore emotional concepts in a context of storytelling and humour.
 
My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Bestselling Author, and Authentic Speaker. You can reach me at anne@walkinginside.com
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com

Categories
Accountability Awareness Blind Spots Conscience Curiosity Emotional Intelligence freedom Instinct Intellect Intent Intentions Intuition Joy Leadership Love Magic Mindfullness Parenting Self Reality Self-empowerment Sensitivity WalkingInside

WHAT MAKES INTUITION, CURB AWAY PAIN

On the ladder of consciousness, it is said intuition ranks the highest, followed by intellect, then instinct. My question to you is, is it true? Is it always true?
 
When I was a small child, I was full of impulses. At 4 years old, I wanted to know if the wood stove was hot on its side, so I touched it without truly thinking about it. As a result, I burned my fingers badly and cried many tears over my action.
 
My mother who happened to be in the kitchen at the time said, “What were you thinking? Don’t you know hot stoves burn?”
 
Apparently I did not. Where was the intellect in this?
 
Fast forward years later… I am near the same stove again and I see the fire burning inside the stove and I hear the wood crackling as flames lick it alive. I can even smell a pine fragrance aroma spreading throughout the house.
 
Do I need to touch the stove again to know it is hot?
 
No, I have a feeling it is hot,  rather than merely using intellect and/or instinct to prove it.
 
What has happened?
 
To answer this question, we need to look at a few things…
 

What is instinct? 

 
Many agree,
 
 

Instinct is an impulse, 

something we do automatically without consciously thinking about it. 

 
 
Maybe this is why small children are full of instinct? Because their intellect and intuition may not be developed enough yet to get deeply how things work?
 
I guess, in some ways, my mother was right in asking me, “What were you thinking?”  for self-questioning pushes us to go deeper, grasp where impulses come from, what motivates us to do what we do.
 
The main problem is, perhaps like you at that age, I answered,
 

“I don’t know, I just want to know.”

 
Now, what exactly do we want to know when we operate from a place of impulses, instincts?
 

In my case and maybe yours, I want to build data. I want to figure out

  • what it feels like under my physical touch (touch)

  • what it looks like (see)

  • what it tastes like having/knowing it (taste)

  • what it sounds like (sound)

  • what it smells like (smell)

 
 
Based on personal experienced, I can now tell you that a fire in a wood stove is something magical to me.
 
Do I now need to touch the stove to deeply know this? No,
 

I feel my truth in every fibre of my body. 

 
 
In light of this,
 

What is intuition?

 
It is agreed,
 

Intuition is a deep truth feeling that flows 

when we are fully present through our senses 

in any given situation 

and 

we are open to receive this feeling information.

 
 
As such,

Intuition builds on what we already know 

instinctively and intellectually.

 
Simply put, Intuition uses the knowledge we already have, knowledge that is communicated to us via our impulses, thoughts, images, sounds, tastes, smells, textures, representations, concepts, perceptions,….
 
 
This is why

Intuition is the highest form of consciousness.

 

To be intuitive is

to swipe the aggregate card of our collected  experiences

and read it

without the use of our intellect or instinct exclusively.

 
 
Just imagine… living a life from a place of deep intuition…
You wake up in the morning feeling the sweetness of the coffee percolating in the coffee machine….
You trust the coffee beans are mixing with the perfect amount of hot water….
You have faith the coffee in your cup tastes warm and welcoming in your mouth….
As you go about your day, you have a spring in your step…
You deeply get your life is magical for you are fully present it.
 
 
How magnificent is a life…
a life where you feel its sweetness…
where you trust…
where you have faith…
where you have a spring in your step…
where you get your life is magical because you are fully present in it.
 
 
Me, I do not have to imagine anymore, this is the life I am living deeper and deeper and am now coaching my clients to live.
 
 
I have learned the hard way how badly I get burned where I only rely on my impulses or my intellect to live my life.
 
I now deeply get there is something greater, something deeper, that encompasses and guides all that I am.
 
It is my belief that, what any of us can do to eliminate pain from our life is to
 

Be willing to receive feeling information 

and 

take rightful actions upon it.

 
 
My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who coaches her clients how to listen deeply to their intuition so they lead the life they truly want away from pain. I can be reached at anne@walkinginside.com
 
With love & compassion,
Anne
www.walkinginside.com
www.fullmontyleadership.com