Categories
Emotional Intelligence Personal Finances Video

HOW TO EMOTIONALLY WELCOME MORE MONEY

We all want more money.

Keeping that in mind, have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I not experiencing the kind of money I know I deserve?”

For many of us, it can be emotionally troubling to notice other people who seem less smart than us to have more of the green stuff than we do. “What is it about someone that makes them a money magnet?”

I don’t know about you, but those were the kind of questions that went circling the drain in my head when I caught myself comparing my financial abundance to others.

It has taken me years of being mentored to finally start getting it at a much deeper level. As Dov Baron wonderfully explains it in his book, Don’t Read This Unless You Want More Money, “In life you don’t get what you deserve; you get what you think you deserve.”

Therefore, what is it about us that makes us think that we might not deserve superb financial abundance?

The answer is found in the Emotional Intelligence of money.

Allow me to explain.

The Emotional Intelligence of money is:

  • understanding what you feel about money and why you feel that way;

  • it’s sensing the difference between your wants and your needs, really understanding what money means to you emotionally;

  • a way to welcome more money and enjoy it.

We all like to think that we make financial decisions rationally. Wrong! It is our feelings that dictate the $$$ decisions we make (and the kind of financial abundance we get to experience).

To make this clearer for you, let’s do an exercise:

Do you rationally welcome $1,000,000 in your bank account right now? Yes? Awesome!

Now, let’s pretend that you’re walking in the middle of the desert and there’s no one else around. Suddenly, you find a suitcase that contains $1,000,000 in unmarked bills. What is the #1 feeling that came up? Be honest with yourself.

To rationally prove ourselves right, our #1 feeling then references our beliefs and memories (our why we feel that way). What is your belief/memory around that kind of $$$?

I did this exercise with a coaching client of mine. Smiling, they told me they rationally welcomed $1,000,000 or more! But when I asked them what was the #1 feeling that arose from finding that money in the desert, they answered, “Panic!”, and their referenced belief was, “Mafia.” For that client to know what it feels like to welcome $1,000,000 in their bank account, they must turn that feeling of  panic into a feeling of heartfelt gratitude, for example. Which means they must reference more empowering money beliefs in order to feelingly welcome more $$$ to them. 

“Why am I not experiencing the kind of money I know I deserve?”

You now know the answer to that question. What is the #1 feeling you mostly associate with $$$ and your bank account?

  • If you are experiencing a negative feeling with $$$, then you are signalling the universe NOT to send you more money because it is apparently stressing you out.

 

“What is it about someone that makes them a money magnet?” 

You now also know the answer to that question. Why do you feel that way about $$$?

  • If you got excited at finding $1,000,000 in the desert, then you just told the Universe to dump truckloads of money in your backyard!

The Emotional Intelligence of money permeates every area of our lives. If someone who seems less smart than us is experiencing more $$$ and financial wealth than us, then it’s very likely they welcome money with more open arms.

If you would like to book a call where we will chat about how I can assist you attract more financial wealth into your life, here’s the link; https://walkinginside.com/contact-us

Your financial EQ coach,
Anne

Photo by Alexander Mils on Unsplash

 

Categories
Emotional Intelligence Shame Video

HOW TO STOP PERPETUATING FINANCIAL SHAME

Recently, I had the following conversation with Jane (name changed). Feeling frantic, the young, professional woman said to me, “I don’t have the money to see you. But I will find it! I can’t go on like this anymore! I am so unhappy! Can you imagine? I am sorry I did not contact you sooner. I was too ashamed.”

This kind of sharing might seem strange to you at first. But to me, they are the staple of my work as a financial emotional intelligence coach. When my clients first come to see me, it is usually because the sh*t has hit the fan. As a result, they are feeling frantically desperate to resolve their problems.

Jane’s case is not alone. Like me in the past, the young woman waited until she was at the end of her rope … until she felt like she was about to lose everything. Only then, did her desire to help herself kick higher than the shame she said she was feeling at the time.

When asked why she had waited so long before coming to see me, the young woman frantically answered, “I thought I could figure it out on my own. But things just got worse and worse …”

And when asked about her current line of work, Jane flatly said that she hated her job; she wished she had studied something different in college. Looking away, she said she kept that job because she was craving “stability of income” above everything else. Sound familiar?

Let me ask you …

Why do we perpetuate financial shame?

Why do we crave stability of income above everything else?

I believe the answer is, because we think stability of income will help us stop feeling ashamed of our past financial decisions.

If that is true, how will perpetuating financial shame ever make us feel good about our past financial decisions?

Clearly, perpetuating financial shame does NOT work.

With that in mind …

How do things become better?

I believe things become better when we focus on:

  • becoming aware. ‘In what areas am I perpetuating financial shame?’

  • becoming intentional. ‘What can I do right now to effectively address my financial shame?

  • becoming accountable. ‘What can I do right now to keep holding myself accountable to thrive both emotionally and financially?’

When I allowed myself to feel my financial shame, I realized that by compassionately touching it, it was losing its power over me. Compassionately touching our financial shame gives us the clarity to make emotionally intelligent decisions that made us thrive in all areas of our lives. Therefore …

Here are four (4) rock solid applications showing you how to stop perpetuating financial shame in your life:

 

  • Write down all the areas where you might be feeling financial shame. For example, you might be feeling financial shame around your divorce, job salary, retirement income, education fund for your kids, credit card debts, bank loans, etc.

 

  • Ask yourself, “Why do I feel that way?For each listed area, ask yourself what it is about the job salary or <insert area> that might make you feel financial shame.

 

  • Take a trip down your childhood memories. The knee-jerk in the application above is to answer superficially. Therefore, if you are keeping a job you despise because “you need the money” (that’s the easy answer), who taught you that making money is more important than acknowledging your true feelings? In Jane’s case, going deeper with me, she revealed that her mother keeps telling her that her daughter is “useless” unless her child holds a job and makes money.

 

  • Make your emotional well-being your #1 responsibility and here is why: a thought brings up an image in our mind. If we keep seeing that image in our mind, we then associate an emotion with it (we assign a meaning). Should we continue thinking this thought and evoking that emotion, we then generate a feeling. Our feelings are generated by dipping into our beliefs and memories (our past clusters of thoughts), which triggers a “new” thought. A thought brings up an image in our mind …. Now, can you think of what happens if the thought we are having triggers financial shame? Then what?

Remember … financial shame is a state of mind (thought) that we can stop perpetuating if we effectively address the root cause of our financial shame.

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am a financial emotional intelligence coach who assists her clients in compassionately understanding where their financial shame comes from so they thrive both emotionally and financially. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us
Your financial EQ coach,
Anne
https://walkinginside.com/products 

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Categories
Blind Spots Emotional Intelligence Video

WHO DO YOU CALL FOR A FINANCIAL EMOTIONAL LEAK?

A financial emotional leak shows how our emotions affect our relationship with money.

To make this clearer, here’s an analogy:

I had recently bought a townhouse which I really liked. But that changed the day I experienced my first water leak in the basement. Panicking, I opened the phone book and called the first plumbing company I saw. That day, a novice plumber came and fixed the leak. He charged me hundreds of dollars for the repair.

Less than two months later, I experienced my second water leak in the basement. I called the same plumbing company.  A more experienced plumber was dispatched. He told me that my water leak was about one foot away from the previous one. He charged me hundreds of dollars for the repair.

A few months later, I experienced my third water leak in the basement. It was then that I realized I needed a compassionate expert plumber, someone who understood my leaking problem and cared deeply about how to effectively solving my issue.

A compassionate expert is someone who understands our leaking problem and cares deeply about solving our issue.

That compassionate expert plumber asked me lots of questions. He wanted to get a thorough understanding of my water leaking history.

After listening intently, he calmly stated that we needed to break through my sealed basement ceiling because we needed to examine my water pipes configuration.

I looked at him with big, round eyes as he precisely started cutting small holes into the basement ceiling. In each hole, he shined a light.

Before long, we found out that the house builder had run the hot and cold water pipes side by side between two structural beams, which caused the pipes to condensate and crack with the result of water leaking all over my basement. The house builder had done that to save money.

Let me ask you …

Why do we perpetuate a financial emotional leak?

I believe the answer is, because we think a compassionate expert plumber (aka financial emotional intelligence coach) is not worth paying the money for. As a result, we think we can fix our leaks much cheaper on our own. But at what cost?

Clearly, the solution to a financial emotional leak is to call a financial emotional intelligence expert who can compassionately show us how our emotions are affecting our relationship with money and what we can do differently to make our financial emotional leak a thing of the past.

Let’s face it … When you’ve spent years wrapped up in limiting beliefs about money, it can seem impossible to unto the condensation (sweat) and cracking (stress) that comes from feeling the pressure of poor financial decisions (mind’s pipe configuration). With this in mind …

When do things become better?

I believe, things become better when we focus on

  • becoming aware. ‘Where am I experiencing a financial emotional leak?’

  • becoming intentional. ‘What am I willing to do right now to fix my financial emotional leak?’

  • becoming accountable. ‘Who can help me effectively fix my financial emotional leak?’

 

When I hired an emotional intelligence mentor who understood how to shine a light onto my financial emotional leaks, my life drastically changed. I stopped bleeding money all over the place and I started thriving emotionally and financially simultaneously.

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am a financial emotional intelligence coach who shines a light onto her clients’ money beliefs so we effectively fix their financial emotional leaks for good. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us
With compassion,
Anne

Photo by kIRK lAI on Unsplash

Categories
Curiosity Emotional Intelligence Video

THE CHICKEN AND THE BEAR: A STORY ABOUT CURIOSITY

Once upon a time, there was a small yellow chicken and a big brown bear who lived within a tree.

The big brown bear loved the small yellow chicken very much! Oftentimes, he held the small yellow chicken between its giant paws so his little friend could take a peek at his fellow humans. The small yellow chicken was the kind of being filled with genuine curiosity.

One day, the small yellow chicken asked the big brown bear why so many humans failed to see them. The big brown bear answered, “Because I think they think they’re too busy to notice the likes of you and me.”

At first surprised by such blindness on the humans’ part, the small yellow chicken then wondered out loud, “Why do you think that is?”

The big brown bear heaved a giant sigh. “Many humans have been taught to think they are separate from us. To them, a tree might just be a tree. If they think that way, how could they ever realize there might be a big brown bear and a small yellow chicken living within a tree?”

The little chicken looked at his friend with great determination. “We must change that!” he affirmed.

How can we help everyone realize that we all exist?

The big brown bear approached the question with great curiosity. After a while, he honestly said, “I don’t know.” Thinking some more, he added, “How can we help someone realize that we all exist when that someone is glued to their cell phone while walking through a park? How can we help someone realize that we all exist when their mind is preoccupied with how to pay the mortgage or whom to date?”

The small yellow chicken’s shoulders slumped forward. He was suddenly feeling increasingly sad. To him, it now seemed like an impossible task to make everyone believe in the “I’m possible, therefore I am”

Feeling crestfallen, the small yellow chicken burst into tears. He so badly wanted humans to see that a small yellow chicken and big brown bear could live within a tree. What could he do?

What is possible with genuine curiosity?

The big brown bear hugged the small yellow chicken and softly said, “We all have free will. This means that everyone must first be willing to look within themselves to see all of us. We both know that a tree is more than a tree … ”

Lost in sadness, the small yellow chicken’s tears formed a giant loving puddle at its feet. He kept pondering, “There must be a way! There’s always a way to foster genuine curiosity!”

After what seemed like a long, long time, he firmly announced, “What if we told our story? What if we showed humans how much they mean to us. Surely, they’ll then notice the likes of you and me?” Bursting into a fit of giggles, he excitedly proposed, “Who can resist a small yellow chicken and big brown bear living within a tree?”

Happy to notice his friend was now feeling better, the big brown bear said encouragingly, “This could work!”

To both their surprise, a middled-aged who was taking pictures of flowers and kissing grown-up trees stopped by. Compassionately looking at both of them, she softly whispered, “Good morning!” Then she took this picture of the big brown bear and the small yellow chicken living within a tree.

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am a financial emotional intelligence coach who assists her clients in becoming genuinely curious as to what it possible when it comes to their personal finances so they multiply money and enjoy it! I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us/

Another great resource to check out for genuine curiosity based leadership: https://fullmontyleadership.com 

Categories
Emotional Boundaries Emotional Intelligence Video

“WHEN INVITED IN, THE DOOR GETS OPENED”

I know a little girl who is fascinated with flowers and trees. She can also hear the wind whispering in her ear. In the village where she comes from, she is often ridiculed for caring about such “trivial” things. Regardless of what anybody says, she continues to persevere because she wants to be invited in.

One day, she feels the need to greet the most majestic tree she has ever seen in her life. The tree seems ancient, with its branches spreading in all directions. The little girl tries to hug it, but her arms are falling short. Not knowing what else to do, she decides to say hello to the tree.

The tree replies, “How’s the ‘chid?”

Laughing, the little girl answers, “Kid’s good.”

 

How many times do we say hello with the hope to get into someone’s inner circle?

The little girl’s attention moves to a cobra dragon resting nearby. “I guess all tree castles need a sentinel,” she wonders out loud.

“Would you like to visit in?” asks the tree.

The little girl pauses a moment, then shyly agrees. ‘It is not every day a tree invites you in,’ she smiles to herself.

Trying to find a point of entry, she circles the tree three times, but to no avail; she cannot see the door and becomes anxious because of it.

Sensing her anxiousness, the tree gently states,

“When invited in, the door gets opened.”

Realizing that the tree had just made a valid point, the little girl laughs heartily and patiently stands in the rain while waiting for a door to magically appear and open.

But to her great surprise and dismay,  the tree suddenly urges her, “You must leave. Now!”

For the little girl, this change of mood and circumstance seems so sudden. As she turns around to honour the tree’s request, she comes face to face with a middle-aged woman, who has deep slanted eyes and one of the whitest complexions she has ever witnessed in her life.

The woman is wearing a black bomber jacket, black pants, and black shoes. Even her hair is jet black. She is holding a black umbrella in one hand and is pushing a black baby carriage with the other. She looks at the little girl with piercing eyes. Taking out of  her purse a small bag of cat treats labelled Temptations, she feeds them to whatever is inside the baby carriage.

“Do babies eat cat treats?” she asks the woman before she realizes that the grown-up  is pushing a black little dog in her black stroller. Not knowing what else to do, she decides to say hello to the woman. But the woman refuses to greet her back. Still, the little girl continues to persevere.

“Such a beautiful tree, don’t you think?” she asks the woman, feeling hopeful for a positive answer on the adult’s part.

“Mmm…” was all the woman could say.

“Are you sure?” asks the little girl, wanting to connect deeper.

“Mmm….” replies the woman again.

With all her might, the little girl feels for the woman, she feels for the tree. All she wants is to get invited in, but a door must open for that to happen.

Until such moment occurs for her, this inner child continues to listen to the wind whispering in her ear and is more fascinated than ever with flowers and trees.
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My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who assists her clients in connecting deeper with their inner child. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us
Your EQ coach,
Anne
https://walkinginside.com/products
Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
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Categories
Emotional Intelligence Questioning

THE ART OF ASKING BETTER QUESTIONS

I feel it … it’s on the tip of my tongue … my brain is churning words … a seed is being planted … a thought is forming … a curious ponder is watered … until finally something cracks open:

“How can we ask better questions?”

 

∇∇∇

When an English speaking person wants to know something, how do they usually formulate their request? 

In my house, my kids say, “Can I ask you a question?”

The English word ‘ask’ comes from the Middle English ‘asken’ and from the Old English ‘ascian’, ‘ahsian’, ‘axian’, which means to inquire, demand, call, summon.

 

How do we question in English? Apparently, we inquire, we demand, we call, we summon … an answer!

Sounds kind of bossy, don’t you think? Having said that, now I am thinking of all the times I have asked my children: “Where have you been?” “What are you doing?” or “What’s up with that?” Who would have guessed I was acting like some kind of drill sergeant demanding answers from young reserves? No wonder my kids were often angry with me, growing up.
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∇∇∇

When a Chinese speaking person wants to know something, how do they usually formulate their request?

In my house, my kids say, “我有个问题想问你.” (wo you ge wenti xiang wen ni.)

The Chinese word for ‘ask’ is 问 (wen). “口” represents an open mouth and 门 represents an open door and a question mark. 问 (wen) means to ask, inquire, interrogate, hold responsible.

How do we question in Chinese? Never mind just asking, we shall hold another responsible for their answers and interrogate further if need be!

Without their knowing, my kids up might have been subjected to military style parenting, because I kept drilling them for answers.
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∇∇∇

When a French speaking person wants to know something, how do they formulate their request?

In my house, my kids say, “Puis-je te poser une question?”

As a native French speaker, I might be doomed because way back in the 4th century, the French confused two latin verbs: ‘pausare’ (to cease) and ‘ponere’ (to put). The confusion got so bad that both verbs were amalgamated to form a new verb, ‘pondre’ which literally means ‘to lay an egg’. Besides that, the word also means: to put something onto something/someone or to abandon something; placing in a spot/situation or affixing a physical structure; to establish a foundation or to address; putting in its rightful place or laying on something/someone; to study gestures/looks/language or to take on a role/appearance; etc.

How do we question in French? Apparently, we first build some kind of elaborate wordy structure to establish on it a nest where we lay an egg to crack open the shell of our understanding.
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At this point, I am kindly ASKing  each one of us to SUMMON buckets of compassion while doing further  INVESTIGATION into this laying egg query:

“How can we ask better questions?”

And during this ongoing process,

∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇∇

May we all crack open the shell of our understanding.

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach who loves languages and the insights they provide for all of us to understand how to ask better questions. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us
Your EQ coach,
Anne
https://walkinginside.com/products
Photo by Miguel Andrade on Unsplash
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Categories
Emotional Intelligence Happiness

HOW TO REMAIN CHEERFUL WHEN FACING DISCONTENT

“A cheerful spirit is a sign of strength.” ~ Ralph Emerson

I had eaten to my heart’s content. Where I was, in an old fifties’ style diner that played ’80s music on its surround speakers, the food was great and the service, impeccable. Feeling satisfied, I asked for the bill.

Meanwhile, an elderly couple walks into the diner. Accompanied by his wife, an old gentleman is walking with a spring in his step and a bright smile on his face.

He points to the table next to me and says,  “I want this one! I love round tables! Do you know why?”

I smile; his sunny disposition is infectious. “I don’t. Why?”

His eyes twinkle in anticipation of a good joke. He answers, “Because I don’t like being cornered!”

I burst out laughing with him. To me, this gentleman is being a warm ray of sunshine brightening up my life.

Being cheerful is being a warm ray of sunshine.

But his wife looks at me reproachfully. She sighs, feeling annoyed. “Don’t encourage him!” she flatly tells me.

Her attitude puzzles me. I start feeling cross with her because I am thinking, ‘Don’t you know how lucky you are? For God’s sake, he is happy!’

Realizing that I had quickly moved into discontent, I wonder, “Who does she remind me of?”

I don’t know about you but, growing up,  I was taught that being cheerful was unacceptable and that there was such a thing as ‘too much’ cheerfulness. As a result, I often told myself that there was something phoney about someone being cheerful. Can you relate?

Back in the diner, I turn my attention to the elderly gentleman. I say to him, “I love your joke! You are funny. Thank you for the laughter.”

The elderly gentleman brightens up even more. “I’ve got another one for you!” and he tells me this funny joke about an elderly woman who refuses to pull-over for speeding because she was knitting a pair of socks.

I find this elderly gentleman so cheerful that I keep laughing with him as he tells me more and more jokes.

At some point, his wife looks at me reproachfully.  “I told you NOT to encourage him!” she blurted out.

I stand up and shake the gentleman’s hand, with a bright smile on my face.  “You made my day! Thank you for the laughter!” I say to him gratefully.

Let me ask you …

What stops us from being cheerful?

I believe the answer is, because we think there’s something too much about being utterly happy. If that is true, how will we become cheerful if we think there’s something off, awkward, weird, or too much about expressing our cheerfulness?

Clearly, we must embrace our cheerfulness in order to be/remain cheerful.

With that in mind …

 

Here are three (3) tips to assist you in remaining cheerful in the face of discontent:

  • Ask yourself, “What does being cheerful mean to me?” Make a list of your beliefs around cheerfulness and examine those beliefs closely. For example, is there such a thing as too much cheerfulness? If you believe there is, then, by opposition, is there such a thing as too little cheerfulness? What is the right balance of cheerfulness? What would that look like for you?

 

  • Emulate people who inspire you. Cheerfulness is infectious; it makes us laugh and relax. Around cheerful people, we let go and become more in tune with our spirit. The old gentleman remained cheerful even though his wife kept asking us to stop this “nonsense” of laughter. Who in your life life inspires you to become more cheerful? Spend time with that person regularly.

 

  • Have an accountability partner. If being cheerful is challenging for you, have an accountability partner who can assist you in safely addressing what makes you feel undeserving of cheerfulness. That person will help you see the areas in your life that need brightening up. No one does this work alone because we all have blind spots.

Now that you have read those tips …

What do you believe would be your greatest challenge?

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence coach who assists her clients in embracing cheerfulness as something wonderful to experience for themselves and the people they love. I can reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us/

Your EQ coach,
Anne

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash
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Categories
Emotional Intelligence Personal Finances

HOW TO SAFELY UNPLUG FINANCIAL CODEPENDENCE

Financial codependence overcharges someone’s power plug

while hoping we never get electrocuted in the process.

Let me ask you … If financial codependence is terrible, why do so many of us choose it as a “viable” option?

The answer is, because we think that financial codependence will give us financial security. But nothing is further from the truth. And here is why:

Financial codependence happens when we plug all our Christmas lights (internal well-being) on someone else’s power plug: we trade our personal power for (perceived) financial security.

Allow me to explain:

After their divorce is finalized, many codependent women talk about the financial hole (debt) incurred after splitting the house, the bank accounts, the lawyer’s fees, etc. Anxious and worried, they share how unsafe they feel reintegrating the work force in their forties and fifties in order to sustain themselves financially. I get it. I used to be one of them.

Of course … I could have chosen (like many) to remain in an unhealthy marriage and continue giving out the illusion that I had my personal finances together. Back then, when someone made a comment about how financially wealthy I was, I quickly spoke about how blessed I was to be married to someone who made a truckload of money. But after my divorce, I blamed my ex-husband for my Christmas lights being out. Sound familiar?

Staying in an unhealthy marriage because we want financial security is never a viable solution.

Leaving an unhealthy marriage without knowing how to safely unplug our financial codependence is a recipe for ongoing misery.

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With that in mind, how do safely unplug financial codependence?

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Things become better when we focus on

  • becoming aware: “What makes me believe it’s “okay” to be financially dependent?”

  • setting our intention: “What am I willing to do right now to become financially independent?”

  • becoming accountable: “How can I keep striving for financial independence?”

To become financially independent, I’ve had to let go of many false beliefs attached to marriage, relationship, loyalty, family, etc. Remember … A failed marriage is never an excuse for failing to thrive financially. Therefore,

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Here are four applications to assist you to safely unplug financial codependence in your relationships:

 

  • Take a money course. Educate yourself in matters related to money and personal finances. Learn how to make a budget, a debt repayment plan, and a retirement plan that will give you the financial security you are craving.

 

  • Hire an Emotional Intelligence Coach. Disempowering beliefs often coat financial codependence with the illusion that it’s ‘okay’ for someone else to carry us financially for long periods of time. An EQ coach will help you adopt more empowering beliefs around money and personal finances.

 

  • Reintegrate the workforce now.  No matter how old you are, you add value just by being here, and you offer an expertise unique to you. I believe in you!

 

  • Learn how to present yourself. Take advantage of the many resources offered to women reintegrating the workforce. For example, you can get help on how to buff up your resume, dress appropriately for an interview, answer for gaps in your work experience, etc.

We can safely unplug financial codependence the moment we decide to (re)claim our personal plug (power). Let me help you. I’ve been there and I know the way to financial freedom. My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an emotional intelligence coach who writes for Forbes about money and personal finances. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us
Your EQ coach,
Anne

https://walkinginside.com
For another great resource, visit https://fullmontyleadership.com 
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Categories
Uncategorized

HOW TO FIND OUR VOICE AND INSPIRE OTHERS

“Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs.” ~ Stephen Covey

I remember this story about a nightingale who was the most beautiful and sought-after bird in the whole kingdom. Its voice was so melodious that fishermen and maids stopped whatever they were doing and listened intently to the nightingale’s song.

One day, the kingdom’s emperor hears about the nightingale, and he becomes incensed at knowing that a simple bird can usurp him with its amazing voice.

Stung in his pride, he asks his first lord to go and fetch the bird so he can see for himself what is it about its voice that is so special.

The first lord fearfully scourges the land wide to find the nightingale himself, for the Emperor threatens to have him trampled to death if he fails. At last, he finds the bird deep in the forest, ad he tells the nightingale that the emperor is requesting its presence.

The nightingale agrees, and shows up at court.

The emperor sheds moving tears upon hearing the bird’s singing voice; this gesture greatly touches the nightingale’s heart.

Wanting to hear the bird sing some more for himself, the emperor builds him a golden cage and gives him servants. Servants attach the bird’s left leg to them as they care for him.

One day, the emperor receives a present. It is a mechanical nightingale adorned with diamonds and sparkling jewels. The mechanical bird pleases him greatly, for it seems to sing perfectly every note at the emperor’s wimp.

Feeling the emperor’s attention drawn elsewhere, the nightingale sees his chance to be free once again and he returns to live in the forest.

Some time later, the mechanical nightingale breaks down. Sad and depressed, the emperor becomes greatly ill.

On his death bed, he remembers the nightingale who once soothed his aching heart. Crying, he prays for its return with all his heart. The nightingale hears his plea and comes in the middle of the night, sitting on a branch outside his bedroom window.

The emperor is so grateful to hear the bird’s voice again that he asks the nightingale to never leave his side again.

The nightingale agrees on one condition: being free. In return, it will visit with the emperor and sing its love song.

Let me ask you,

What do you believe is the nightingale’s story about?

I’d like to offer you the following suggestion:

What if the nightingale represents our inner child?

If that’s the case,

Who or what does the emperor represent? 

I believe the emperor represents our ego, that thing that tries to cage everything beautiful in and around us.

Here are three tips to find your inner voice and inspire others:

 

  • Let go of the desire to please others. The first lord is deeply afraid to displease the emperor. People pleasers are like first lords who are afraid of rejection. Seek your own approval beyond the emperor called ego.

 

  • Let go of comparison. The only thing that compares is the ego. We are beyond that.

 

  • Embrace gratitude. The emperor feels solace in the companionship of the nightingale and the hearing of its melodious song. Our inner child offers us solace if we are willing to allow ourselves to hear its love song. In this place of solace, it then becomes easy to inspire others.

I trust you have found value in this article.

My name is Anne Beaulieu and I am an Emotional Intelligence Coach, Authentic Speaker, and Storyteller who assist her clients in finding their inner voice and inspire others. I can be reached at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us/

Your EQ coach,
Anne
https://walkinginside.com/products
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Categories
Conscience Emotional Intelligence

SEEING CONSCIENCE THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

The word conscience alone is enough to put a three year-old child to sleep. Do you agree?

Because … For many children (and us too!), the word conscience is a biiig word.

Perhaps you’ve had a different experience than me, but I haven’t met a three year-old yet who has ever named their family dog, Conscience.

And I haven’t met many adults (including me in the past) who can clearly explain what a conscience is. Especially in a way that most three year-old children can easily relate to.

What is a conscience to a three-year old kid?

In order for me to understand what a word means, I often start by researching its meaning(s) in the dictionary.

Call my old-fashioned, but I like looking at various meanings across various cultures too. It’s what I call, getting a broader perspective.

Here’s what I’ve discovered:

In the English and French languages, the word conscience comes from the prefix com (meaning with or thoroughly) and the word scire (meaning to know or knowledge).

What this means is: in the English and French cultures, a conscience seems to be that knowledge thing, that thing we know.

Like me, you are now perhaps wondering,

“But what is that thing? And what does it do exactly?”

Ahhh! Some of us might tend to say that our conscience is that thing telling us what is right and what is wrong. In that context, a conscience is that thing asking us to do the right thing, no matter what.

However, in some academic circles, I have heard that conscience is the ability to know one’s self. “Ouf!” as the French say. That’s a tall order for anyone, even a three-year old, do you agree?

Which brings me to the following question: Though these various meanings are great on the surface, how can they relate exactly to the way a three year-old thinks?

Yes, there are many studies and experts in the field who are telling us that a child understands right and wrong by the age of two.

Well, I guess I am not that average child, because I grew up in house where right or wrong is mostly determined based on someone’s moods and circumstances. In other words, my parents’ moral compass seem to have more to do with what they personally had to gain from a situation.

Maybe that explains my fascination to this day with what a conscience is and what it does for us.

As luck would have it, I stumbled upon the word conscience while studying Chinese mandarin. And what I have discovered is fascinating!

In Chinese mandarin, a conscience is called liangxin (良心)。
The word xin (心) means heart. That symbol does look like a heart, right?
The word liang (良) means valiant, strong, pure, good. This symbol is strongly associated to a warrior’s character.
Therefore, in the Chinese language,

A conscience is a valiant warrior upholding the good of our hearts. 

In light of this, here’s my suggestion to you.

Next time you meet a three year-old child, explain to them that their conscience is this valiant warrior within upholding the good of our hearts. We all have one. And it works for all of us.

I trust that you have enjoyed reading this article. I’d love to know your thoughts. Please drop a comment below or contact me directly at https://walkinginside.com/contact-us

Your EQ coach,
Anne

To shop the adult fairy tales series for developing emotional intelligence, visit https://walkinginside.com/products
Photo by Michael Mims on Unsplash

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