Categories
Emotional Intelligence

Becoming our own hero

When my kids were little, I read them stories of princesses being rescued by a prince on a white horse. I read them stories of magicians saving the world and knights slaying pesky dragons. I loved taking their imagination to far-away lands and magical people before they closed their eyes for the night.
Why did I love this type of fairy tales so much? Little did I realize then how much I loved playing the hero in real life. Parenting was my kingdom. To mychildren, I was a supermom. I found missing socks, tied shoes, and wiped tears. I cooked meat and vegetables while helping them finish their math homework. I cheered them during swimming races, went down water slides, and played tag underwater. Ignoring my own exhaustion, I even sang them love songs before kissing them good night.

I wanted my children to have the childhood I never had. I was a victim as a child and I was determined to change my stars as an adult. I believed that being there every step of the way for them was being a good mother. I believed that putting them first in my life would teach them to love themselves too. Little did I know then how my wanting to be the hero turned them into victims (a hero rescues victims). How empowering is the hero who rescues the princess, saves the world, or slays dragons? How inspiring is the hero who teaches others sacrifice trumps self-love?
My son Alex still remembers the day he saw me cry for the first time. He was 12 years old. I was heart-broken. I was exhausted. I did not have the strength anymore to hold on to my ‘perfect’ image. I was filing for divorce. I did not have ‘all’ the answers. I was scared. Realizing his mother was just a human being struggling like him to find joy and peace was quite an eye-opener for him. He grew up a lot that day.
Wanting to change my story, I have stopped parenting my children and started parenting me. I want them to be their own hero. I want me to be my own hero. I let my children fall and stumble. I watch them get back up and keep walking. They do the same for me too. I now believe a young tree learns to dance with the wind while facing the elements. I believe we all are young trees dancing in our story.
What kind of chapter are you writing in your life today?
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Categories
Emotional Intelligence

We never know…

While walking on the street, my path crossed an old lady. Her hair was silver, her eyes sparkling. She was very well dressed. She was walking a few steps behind her husband. He looked gentle and kind like her.
When she saw me, she flashed me a little girl’s grin and touched my arm. “There you are. Happy New Year!” Her face was radiant. She blew me a kiss. I flashed her my biggest grin, blew her a kiss and wished her a happy new year too. Whether her mind was totally there or not was irrelevant to me. She was a beautiful gift who brightened my day. And I wanted to share this gift with you.
 
 

Categories
Emotional Intelligence

Nothing of importance is accomplished alone

I went for a walk last night. I felt overwhelmed with the upcoming workload, wondering how I was going to realize so many of my dreams regarding coaching, speaking, blogging, writing… I started worrying. My clarity got murky. I called one of my peers. He asked me ‘What exactly are you aiming at?’
His words brought me back in time. I was 14 years old. My oldest brother had bought an expensive bow and arrows. I remember the metal case it came in, the beautifully shaped arrows, and the many cross-hairs with different scopes and purposes. I wanted to learn. It seemed so cool. The thing is it was freaking hard work. I found it difficult to pull the string back all the way. He had to help me hold the arrow in place, aim properly, and shoot while not dislocating my shoulder. I failed countless of times. Arrows fell at my feet, on trees, on the ground… I even lost a couple of arrows too somewhere… I remember looking at the target was not enough. I needed to be present in my body and in every step I was taking. I also needed help.

Remembering this event made me realize why shooting a bow and arrow was also so much fun. I loved the process of learning. I made mistakes. I fell on my ass. I laughed. I got back up. I tried again. I missed. But the time I made contact with the target was priceless. I had this profound sense of accomplishment from within. I had made it happen. I had realized my intention, felt my dream come true. Here’s one the greatest lessons I have learned so far in my life. Nothing of importance is accomplished alone. We all need help. We are not alone.
Who in your life is helping you make your dreams come true?
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